A letter to my 12 year old

Dear Zaza,

Happy Birthday to you. You are now 12 years old. You are the opposite of me and so much like your dad. You are smart, beautiful, and full of bossiness which is a good look. I do however want you to watch that attitude some. You are nothing like me which is good. I’m always filled with fear and anxiety when it comes to speaking my mind because I want to be careful with my words. You however will cuss (not real cuss words but the good version) someone out and think nothing of it. I’m proud of you and your ability to fight for what’s right and to stand up and be your own person. I admire that the most!

12 years old is such a huge age. It’s the age where you are trying to figure out who you are and everyone is your friend. I know I am always telling you to be careful of people but you are the type of person who has to see it first. You give people a chance even if your gut tells you not to you always say mom just let them show you first because sometimes people show you something while in the moment and that’s not necessarily how they really are. A lesson that I need to continue learning.

You are beautiful. Let me repeat that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! No one told me that when I was little so my whole world has been wrapped up into believing that I wasn’t. I don’t ever want you to go a day without knowing that you are beautiful inside and out. Your beauty isn’t just about looks it’s in the way you fight for your friends, in the way you accept everyone, in the way that you speak up for what you believe in no matter what I say. Your caring ability when someone is hurt or wronged makes you even more beautiful.

I’m not a hugger but you are the only person who can get a hug out of me and that’s huge. I have so many dreams for you. I want you to be a nurse you say you want to be a Dr to cure cancer. I say I want you to be a lawyer you say I want to be a judge. Every dream I have for you, you dream bigger and I love that. Keep dreaming and doing what you do because the world is yours. Your father and I wanted to make sure you didn’t grow up like us so even though he isn’t here he has made it possible for me to give you all the opportunities that we didn’t have by looking out for me in heaven. You got a great angel on your side and that is a blessing within itself.

Remember to always stand up for what you believe is right. I won’t always agree with it but I will support you. Also, remember to curb that attitude because your attitude will get you into doors that your brain and looks won’t. I want you to knock the glass ceilings out of the building. Never letting a no get you down. Turn that no into a yes somewhere else and knowing you….you will do just that. Thank you for being my running to the store buddy, my Disney movie gal, my eater who tries all of my food even the new dishes, my hugger, my fighter, my dancer, my girl. Most of all thank you for being what I couldn’t be at your age. I can’t wait for you to grow up so I can be your kinda friend but still your mom kinda girl lol.

Love Mommy