Girls need their dad too

It’s almost Fathers Day. I don’t do too much for that day since I don’t have a father to celebrate. I am not a father so don’t call me and say happy fathers day (I hate that). I respect the good fathers who show up and show out for their families. I realize that I never spoke about my father around here so I think I will share my story. I want to tell you all a little about what I know about my father, what not having a father has taught me, and why girls need a father in their life.

Girls need a father in their life

I don’t know much about him. I know he comes from a large family whom I know nothing about. I know that he cheated on my mother and got another girl pregnant. My mom put him out with very little explanation to me of what happened. She never bad mouthed him or spoke badly about it she just stated the facts when I asked. Your dad cheated I put him out that’s the end of that. I never questioned my mom and I never missed my father because none of my friends had fathers so there wasn’t much to compare anything to. I grew up knowing that I didn’t have one my mom got child support which she used to send me to private school and that’s about all I know. We never discussed my dad after she told me what he did and I never brought it up. I didn’t realize the importance of having a dad in my life until I was in college and by then I was always looking for a dad figure. I didn’t realize it in high school but I noticed that kids who had a dad in their lives had good boyfriends. I was always looking for the older guys or the bad guys.

See a lot of young girls date older men because they are missing that man figure from their lives. I can only speak from my experience but it’s what I have noticed. Not saying a lot of girls don’t date older men who have active fathers but most of us seek out the older guys because we were missing that as a child. I was 15 dating a 22-year-old at one point in my life. Not proud but I was looking for something that I didn’t even know I was looking for back then.

Not having a father affects self-esteem issues

I never had that man that told me I was pretty. I never had a dad to call me princess or fight off the boys for me.

Girls without a father struggle to maintain relationships

Some who have a father struggle too but I think their struggle is more of trying to find a man who can hold a candle to who their dad was. These men out here today…chile…..

Girls without a father tend to become sexually active early

This is true…in my case, I can’t speak for anyone else

Not having a father can lead to addiction of some kind

I am addicted to food so that may be the root of why I am so big I don’t know I need a therapy session for this

Not having a father has taught me that all men cheat, I can’t trust any of them, and I don’t know how to let a man be a man. This was a hard thing for me because I got married and still had some of these hang-ups. My mom being a single mom taught me that I didn’t need a man for anything so when I meet men I can already do what they do so I don’t, in a sense, need them. I am not a damsel in distress. I can change a tire, change my oil, fix basic things, shoot a gun, kill bugs, etc. They are only good for their money, good D, and having some kids sad but that’s how I grew up. As I am getting older and I see that there are good dads out there I am changing my tune on some things. You can trust some men and it’s okay to give up control and let a man handle it even though we know we can it is okay to let them do what they do. It was a hard lesson to learn and I think had I had a father, things would have been better.

Now my daughter has no father and I fear for her that she may go into some of the above. I talked more about her on this post.

Girls need a father in their life….

• risk-taking. Dads tend to do it their way and not the right way lol. Girls who have fathers who do things unconventional tend to take more risks in everything they do
• Body image. Girls who have fathers who tell them they are beautiful from the beginning don’t question beauty as much
• Future relationships. Girls who have great fathers tend to have great relationships or at least they know that their dad set the standard high so they accept nothing less
• Consistency. Dads aren’t moms most do the same thing all the time day in and day out. This helps keeps girls on track when it comes to tasks and being trustworthy
• unconditional love. Men are different than women. We hold grudges and men talk to everyone and gives everyone love even those who did them wrong.
• getting physical. This can mean learning how to defend against others, learning how to be more active with physical activities, or just being there for the sports aspect of things

I wish I had a dad in my life. I wish I had my own dad in my life because it’s tough not having a mom anymore. I tried to make the relationship a few years ago but some things just can’t be forced if it doesn’t happen naturally…it won’t happen. Girls need a father in their lives and it doesn’t have to be one that is in the home as long as they are there teaching it doesn’t matter if he is married to your mom or not. It doesn’t even matter if it’s an outside person who steps in to be a father. How is your relationship with your dad? If you grew up without a father does anything I say in this post resonate with you?