How to handle the guilt of not being able to go on field trips

If you have kids you have field trips. If you have multiple kids you have more than one a year. Now add in being a single parent trying to be fair to both kids…it’s tough. When the hubs was alive he would do one field trip and I would do one for each child and we split it. These days I have to pick and choose which ones I go on because I do work. It’s hard trying to balance field trips and it’s also hard picking which ones you should go to. Here is how I handle the guilt of not being able to go on field trips.

How to handle the guilt of not being able to go on field trips

You can’t handle it because if you are a parent that loves your kids you will feel guilty as hell. Especially when they come home saying such and such mom was there. What I do is I try to explain to my children that I have to work. I don’t have the luxury of being off all the time and while my job does give me days off I would rather save them for vacation time where we can all go and enjoy yourselves. I am not saving my days off for field trips with your friends.

Now I do try to be fair for both of my kids. If I go on one field trip for one chile I will have to go for the other child. While my son isn’t here for me coming I go because deep down….deep deep deep down he wants me there I know this. My daughter is still at the age where she wants me at all of the field trips. Luckily they only go on like 3 or less per year. I choose the field trips that I go based on where they are going and the time frame. For example, my daughter went to see Aladdin last year and I wanted to see Aladdin myself so I took off for that trip because I had an ulterior motive. I am glad I went because a lot of parents didn’t and we were down by the Varsity here in Atlanta and my gawd the homeless people. The kids were running around not with chaperones and I was just sitting there like I am so glad I came.

My son had a field trip to the GA Aquarium and that was a little better probably because the kids were older and my sons teachers had it together. 5 kids with 2 parents each! I went on that field trip but I came late and wasn’t worried at all. I wasn’t there to chaperone I was there to make sure I saw some fishies.

Field trip to a campground

At the end of the year, most kids go on field trips. My sons class isn’t doing anything as of now but my daughter went to a boy scouts camp near where we live. I wasn’t going to go at first because I didn’t understand how that was a field trip. What will you all be doing at a boys scout camp? I was thinking it was more like a park of some sort so I told her I was going to sit this one out until…

I found out there was going to be a body of water at the campground. That is one thing I will always do show up when there is water involved. My son can swim but my daughter can’t very well and until she gets more practice in I don’t want her anywhere near water if I’m not there. I know anything can happen at any time but if it’s something I can be at to help prevent it I’m going to be there.

Field trips can make a mom feel guilty and when other parents show up all the time it can make a child feel some type of way. Here are some other ways to handle field trips.

• Get to know other parents in the class. This will help! My daughter isn’t in class with her bestie anymore but when the entire grade goes on a field trip I text the other mom if I can’t be there and have her look out for my daughter. We tag team often!
• Send a trusted friend. I sent my friend on a field trip when the hubs first passed away because I couldn’t handle going on any at that time. My daughter wanted to go and I didn’t have the heart to say no so I sent my bestie on the trip with her and they had a blast. Grandma, Uncle or even an older sibling are great people to send if you can’t be there. That way at least you get good pictures and the child is somewhat happy
• Check the place out beforehand. I knew about the Varsity before my daughter went and that is why I went because I knew the type of people that hung out down there. If you feel it will be dangerous or that you need to be there…don’t second guess it. Go!
• If your child has a trip that is near your job see if you can take your lunch break to check in with them. If we have a field trip downtown lots of parents just come during their lunch to see the child have lunch with them and go back to work. Every little bit of time counts.
• Cell phones. I know most parents don’t want their kids to have cell phones but my daughter has one. I let her take it with her to school for her trip just to keep a track of where they were. I have an app on her phone that tells me all of that. It comes in handy for trips out of town

Now I know my son is going to the 8th grade next year and they will be going to Washington, DC as their annual Spring Break trip. I will only go if I don’t know any of the parents going. If a parent I know is going I will have them look after him and sit that out but you never know…the girl and I can always do a pop-up.

How do you handle field trips? Are you able to go on all of them? How do you pick and choose which ones to go on?