Confessions of a Single Mom

I did a post a while ago about the confessions of a widow. Now it’s time to bring you the confessions of a single mom. Yes I know I was married but I am not new to this single mom life as my mom raised me by herself so I know a thing or two. Here are my confessions of a single mom.

Confessions of a single mom

There is no backup

I am alone in this thing called parenting. Backup isn’t coming when my kids have a meltdown or when they have angry moments. When you are arguing with a child they have no one to turn to for help and you have no one to turn to for help with your case. Sometimes it feels as if you are arguing with the world but no you are arguing with a 9-year-old about the type of sock she is wearing and telling her she can’t wear them. She said if Daddy was here he would let me wear the socks….he probably would but I am always the bad guy. It would be nice if I could share the blame with someone else.

I can’t talk on the phone when you want

When I was 20 I use to work with an older lady who had a 7-year-old. She was cool and I would call her in the evenings on the weekends whenever I felt that she was available. She pulled me to the side one day and said, Kita, I like you but I am a single mom and I can’t talk to you all the time. I’m tired and I have a lot to do with work and raising a child alone. I was mad at first when she said something but now that I am a mom I get it. As a single mom, I prefer text and email so that I can get back to you when I can. Talking on the phone is right then and I have to stop what I’m doing and talk to you when I could be doing something for my business or my children. It’s not that I hate talking to folks (I do lol) but I prefer to limit my phone calls especially during the weekdays.

Money is tight so don’t ask me to borrow anything

Kids are still expensive no matter if you have two incomes or in my case one. I have my money budgeted for us to live not for you to call and ask to borrow money. I get it times are tough and just because I drive a decent car and live in a house folks think I have it. Oh, your husband died and you don’t have it? Chile, no….my husband didn’t have insurance so sorry I’m a struggling single mom.

I do everything

My kids don’t ride the bus because of the type of school they go to so I drop off and pick up, I wash clothes, I cook dinner, I take them to their activities, I do HW, I do hair (just one imagine having 2 girls) I handle meltdowns, failing grades, moodiness, boo boos, etc. I do it all. We get into bed most nights at 9 because I have to stop and cook dinner. I can’t cook dinner and help 2 separate kids with homework. I’m good but not that good. So while I cook I get baths out the way and have them do a chore or two to help take something off my hand.

I don’t have a village

Not all single parents have a village. I don’t have a sister or brother I can call on. Most of my friends live far from me or live in another state. I don’t get out much because of well…..kids. My time is dedicated to making money and raising kids so I can’t network like I want. Sometimes I can’t go to events or go places when my kids have no one to pick them up. Every year we have to fill out paperwork for the school. You know who can come to pick your child up, who can check them out, who can they contact in case they can’t contact you…etc. I normally have to ask people that I don’t truly want to ask to put down on the list. I have 2 solid people but you need 5 so every year I have to call folks and ask them do they mind if I put them on the list. That can be exhausting and embarrassing at the same time. Someone mentioned to me that I should find a family. People who aren’t blood but I can forge a bond with….that in itself is hard to do but I must be willing to do that if I want someone to help me. We can’t do this alone!

If you know of a single mom make sure you give them some grace in this thing called life.