A Guide to Dealing with Uncomfortable Questions at Family Gatherings

None of us are strangers to awkward questions when it comes to family gatherings around the holidays. You’ve got that one aunt or sister you never see until the holidays and they always like to bring up questions no one would like to think about around the holidays. Everyone just wants to have a good time and forget all the negativity in life for a bit. So, if you’re like me and don’t want to make any drama, but you also don’t want to answer uncomfortable questions, here’s a guide for how to deal with uncomfortable questions at family gatherings.

How to deal with uncomfortable questions at family gatherings

Politely State the Obvious

When telling the truth, there’s no reason you have to be rude or stuffy, it can be delivered peacefully in order to salvage time with family. If someone asks a question that’s uncomfortable for you and something you would really rather not talk about, just say that. For example, “I truly thank you for thinking of me, but I’m uncomfortable talking about that subject. Can we talk about something more positive?”

Dealing with the Negative Nancy

Now, you’re always going to have that family member who will keep pushing because they thrive on negativity and causing drama. For example, when you let them know that it’s an uncomfortable topic for you and you would rather not discuss it, they may push to hear it anyways. This is because they often don’t care about personal space or learning when to hush up. However, this still doesn’t have to ruin the family gathering. You can still side-step the behavior without getting in a hissy. Simply make a little joke about them being curious then ask if they need a drink refill or something similar. Dodge their questions by sliding into a subject change.

Get into Conversations with Safe Zones

Often times, if you’re in a conversation with someone else, it’s not as easy to get pulled into long conversations with others. So, seek safe zones as often as possible and conversations with those people. Avoid in-depth conversations with those you know could turn into a disaster.

Keep Expectations Low

Don’t think the night will be 100% successful. Go into the gathering knowing it’s not going to be a perfect night, because families are never perfect. Things will always be a little bumpy when you get so many people of the same family together. They’re comfortable with each other which can result in emotions and subjects that are usually taboo among other circles.

Above All Else, Control Yourself

The main point to remember when going into a family gathering is that you can only control yourself, your actions, your attitude, etc. Don’t expect that you’ll be able to control anyone else’s actions or responses. Keep your attitude, demeanor, etc. in check and by doing this, it will almost always ensure a smoother ride. If one person loses it and the other doesn’t, things are diffused much more easily and less dramatically than if both sides were to flip.

All in all, just remember you’re there to enjoy your family, taking them as-is. In other words, go in knowing you’ve got some sticky people in the family and try to appreciate where they’re coming from. Even if it’s rocky and taboo, they often just mean well and just aren’t the smoothest about approaching it.