It's Life It's Parenting

Are you spending your time on the right things?

December 8, 2016

I love my kids but someone brought to my attention a few weeks ago that I wasn’t spending enough time with them. I work from home and since I am a newly single parent (their dad died a few months ago) I have to work because no longer do I have the income of my husband to support us. I was an at home mom for so long and I didn’t work so with the loss of him…I had to go into survivor mode to make sure that my kids lacked nothing……what I didn’t realize was that they lacked my time. I asked my son the other day if I spent enough time with him and his answer was yeah……you are in the car with us when you drop us off and pick us up from school, you spend every Saturday night with us having movie night and do selfie Saturday with us (more on that later), and you let us help cook breakfast in the mornings. You have to work and I understand that because I want nice shoes (side eye) and I like going on vacations. My daughter said that I don’t do enough babysitting of her dolls and not enough of her letting take care of my nails. Two very different answers from two very different kids. I feel that I spend enough time with them but sometimes I do feel that I work a lot and I feel bad that I have to tell them to get out of my office mommy has to work.

I have been a stay at home mom with my kids since they have been born. When my son was born I was working but when he turned 1 my mother died suddenly and I no longer worked. I spent so many years being a mom to him and then came my second child and I spent all my time with her. I was only a mother………….that’s all I was. Sweats all day, hair to the back, nails not done, big bag full of stuff, I was a mom. I spent all my time with the kids for years and not enough time with who I wanted to be after the kids get out of my house. You see…..I had babies but no longer do I have them. My son is about to be 11 and my daughter 8…….He doesn’t want to be seen with me unless I have food and my daughter is into fashion and nails. Time …..it never stands still and before I know it…..my kids will be in high school and I will seriously cry. I try my best to do things with them but sometimes I get behind in work and I have to cut their time short and I feel horrible. So how do I stop time? I can’t…..I just have to make sure I spend enough time on the right things…..

My faith in God – I don’t go to church but that doesn’t mean I am not getting my faith right with God. I am listening to him and asking him for advice more so now than ever. I have faith that he will always see me through! I am reading and mediating daily and making sure my walk with him is my first priority.

My Kids – I need to spend time with them separately. I talk to them in the car and I spend every Saturday night with them having popcorn and watching movies. We do selfies every Saturday which is something we started right before my hubs died. We take a picture together to document our Saturday night together. I started this so I can watch them grow through pictures every week. You will be surprised by how much you can see in the pictures if you look back at them. I save all the pictures in an app so that I can document each Saturday selfie. I hope to keep this up even when the kids leave the house. What I will do is have my son send a picture of him and my daughter a picture of herself to me every Saturday and I will put it in a collage even if they aren’t in the house with me we can still keep up with our selfie Saturday!

My health – I need to take more time to get my health on the right track. I make to many excuses and not enough time doing the work that needs to be done. I have to lose 100lbs by the end of 2017……its a goal that I want to reach and may document on here so that I can be held accountable.

Growth – I want to grow and in order to grow I have to continue to read and expand my knowledge. This means setting time aside to read up on my craft. Read up on the things that bring me money in. Photography, Marketing, and Blogging are the three main categories. I need to learn what’s trending and what’s new so that I can continue to grow.

If you are in your 20’s here is a list of things you need to spend time doing

  • Network ( This is the best time to meet the friends that will possible become your friends for life. You can also meet people to help you on your journey)
  • Read books about everything
  • Learn a new skill (cooking, art, graphic design, etc. Don’t sit there and not take the time and energy to learn. You are young you don’t need 8 hours of sleep)
  • Travel
  • Eat Well
  • Get your finances in order (trust me…..if you don’t do this in your 20’s you will be behind on building your portfolio for your future finances)
  • Get a grip on what you really want in life and stick to it

If you are in your 30’s here is a list of things you need to spend time doing

  • Letting go of the past…..it’s the past for a reason. Learn from it and let it go
  • Saving money and making your money work for your future
  • Finding friends that are older than you so you can learn from them
  • Working on your passion…sure the job is nice but is it your passion?
  • Getting a boo (this is the perfect age range to get married and settled down live your 20’s…..trust me….you will know what you want better in your 30’s)
  • Forgiving….it’s hard to do but you won’t be at peace until it happens
  • Unplugging. From your kids, from your husband, from your job….just take some time to spend with you and you alone

I can’t tell you what to do in your 40’s since I am not there yet (halfway though *cries*) but I will say that I have seen so many 40 year olds waste time and they have nothing to show for it. Don’t be that 40 year old who has nothing……take some time to figure out what you want your life to be and go live that.  Are you spending enough time on the right things?

Are you spending your time on the right things?



  • Reply
    Denise C
    December 9, 2016 at 2:42 am

    I’m definitely not spending time on the right things, but I already have plans to change that. I just need to wrap up some of my commitments, and I’m reorganizing my life!

  • Reply
    Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle
    December 9, 2016 at 1:53 pm

    I love this post. It’s all too easy to get caught up in something like work or a project and forget what really matters.

  • Reply
    Colleen Lanin
    December 9, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    It’s so important to look at your life and really pin down where your priorities are and where they should be. Thanks for sharing this. It is certainly food for thought.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. It’s good to look at the time we need to spend with family and friends…and look at where we waste our time.

  • Reply
    Catherine Sargent
    December 9, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    This is a great post. It can be hard balancing home life and work life. My son is 20 and at least twice a month we spend Saturday together. I would like to spend more time with him, but at his age I will take what I can get.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2016 at 9:14 pm

    I can tell from your words that you are a very present mom to your children. I’m absolutely taking your solid and sound advice with me! I too hope that you will be easy on yourself. I can only imagine what you are going through and have been through with such a tremendous loss and change in work roles. Sending hugs.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    wow, I just love this post so much. You are one of the strongest women I know. My mom was a single mom who worked harder than anyone I know and I spent a lot of time home, by myself, but I know she worked hard for me, and I never lacked for anything at all.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    So sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine having to support the family, and spend quality time with them, and have time for yourself. Thanks for your honesty and sharing.

  • Reply
    December 10, 2016 at 12:43 am

    This is such a great piece and beautifully written. After seeing tradgedy is it especially important to enjoy life and spend time doing what makes you whole.

  • Reply
    December 10, 2016 at 1:00 am

    It’s really important to assess where you are spending your time. That way you can make sure you are doing what you want to spend time on.

  • Reply
    Janell Poulette
    December 10, 2016 at 4:13 am

    I first want to say that i am very sorry for your loss. It has got be a very hard balance between life and work when you are trying to support your family alone right now. You really seem to have it down pat though, and i envy you for the road you are traveling right now.

  • Reply
    Jocelyn @ Hip Mama's Place
    December 10, 2016 at 4:15 am

    It is so important to step back and soak it all in. But, its also hard when you have a family depending on you for their needs. I give you a lot of credit for doing what you’re doing. Keep following your faith and He will lead you where you need to go. I am very sorry for your loss.

  • Reply
    December 10, 2016 at 5:26 am

    Some days I feel that I am, other days I feel that I could be doing better. I think finding a balance is what I’m lacking at the moment. I’m almost 40, so I do hope I feel 100% put together by then.

  • Reply
    Our Family World
    December 10, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    I’m having difficulties in balancing my work and my personal life but I’m still finding ways to spend more time that will makes my family happy and that’s the right thing for me.

  • Reply
    Toni | Boulder Locavore
    December 10, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    This is a great reminder for me. I love all your tips here. All these are really true. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    December 10, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    This is great I spend my time working and with my kids, thats about it. I think I have my time divided up pretty well but sometimes could use the reminder.

  • Reply
    Reesa Lewandowski
    December 12, 2016 at 3:12 am

    It’s amazing how quickly our time gets sucked away on all the wrong things. I really need to start making a conscience effort not to let this happen!

  • Reply
    December 12, 2016 at 7:54 pm

    Sounds like you are doing a great job to me spending time with your kids. I love the Selfie Saturday ritual! Also I am in my 30s I am trying so hard to get a boo it isnt easy…man its hard lol. Also for the people in their 20s you dont need sleep you young LMAO!!

  • Reply
    December 14, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    What a great and inspiration post! After reading this I think I am spending my time doing the right things!

  • Reply
    Krissy Higgins
    December 14, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband.
    I know how hard it can be to go into survival mode and just be so focused on making it that you forget the important things.
    My best friend always tells me I worry too much about giving them everything I didn’t have that I forget to give them what I did – which was (and still is) a very supportive, loving and involved family who spent our family vacations going camping and went hiking on the weekends or bike riding instead of the movies or concerts.
    It is very important to stop and give more time to them..that’s what they need the most.

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