The one thing I learned about motherhood

I had my life planned out as a child. I would have 3 kids, 2 boys, and a girl. I had their names picked out in elementary school. My hubs wanted control  of the boy names so I had to give up my name for my son but I got to keep the name I had for my daughter. I also didn’t have those 3 kids although I have been pregnant 3 times (I had a miscarriage). Every mother’s day I celebrate by writing posts about how to deal with Mother’s day when you don’t have a mom or what to buy for yourself but I never talk about me being a mother and what I learned. Of all the things I’ve learned in my life motherhood has taught me one thing. Here is the one thing I learned about motherhood.

The one thing I learned about motherhood

I don’t have to have it together. That’s it. That’s the lesson. I do not have to be a perfect mom. I can end the post here but let’s dive deep. You see how earlier I talked about having everything planned out well motherhood is never planned, it’s just life. You don’t know what to expect on a daily with kids. You never know how they will act, feel, or even what they will say. I tried to be a perfect mom. Following a schedule fixing the right foods, spending time reading that perfect little book but motherhood said bump all that. It’s a rollercoaster of things. Each stage of their growth is a new hump that you have to go over and it feels like a rollercoaster because it goes up and down and upside down and then you level out for a second until the next wave comes. Am I making sense?

Motherhood is a journey that I wasn’t ready for and will never be ready for. These new kids today are different and I have to parent them differently and sometimes I feel myself slipping into my mom and sometimes if I’m being honest I hated her way of raising me but I have become her. That’s also a change I wasn’t ready for nor am I still ready to accept.

How has motherhood changed me in other ways?

Glad you asked…for one my anxiety is at a all-time high. I am constantly worried about my kids and on top of that, I have to worry about my black kids which is a whole nother beast within itself. I worry about my kids when I’m not around and it sometimes keeps me from doing a lot of stuff. I don’t think the constant worry will ever go away but it has increased as they get older.

Patience. I had none. I remember I used to hate standing in line for stuff or hate waiting on things and now…I wait and find other things to do while I wait killing two birds with one stone. I look at patience differently because believe me the time is already going fast I think having patience slows me down.

I trust my gut more. I don’t know. I am always a person that likes to give things and people a chance but these days when I see it the first time I believe it. I don’t know if that comes with time but I think having kids made me realize I have no time to play with people or things. I see it for how it is.

I’m big on resting and not just sleep-wise but resting your brain and having more time for self-care. When I first became a mother I was doing all the things and never took anytime for myself. Now that has changed. I set my boundaries and take 10 min a day for me and then I take the entire Sunday for me. My kids say I’m selfish but I do not care. I need that rest and recharge once a week where I don’t cook, clean, or do anything motherhood-wise. My kids know that I get my snacks and I lock into my room for hours and they aren’t to disturb me unless it’s an emergency. I started this about 2 years ago and it’s been heaven.

With Mother’s day coming I wanted to make sure I defined what I learned about motherhood for myself. I would love to hear how you define motherhood.

Shirt information can be found here.