Parking Lot shenanigans + Wed Links

My kids get out of school at 2:15 if you don’t arrive in the line by 1:30 you are late. Usually, the older folks (grandma and dem) are lined up early because they have nothing to do. People like me who work from home can kind of schedule my times to go get the kids and I usually arrive after the old folks. Everyone else is coming on their lunch breaks. There is a guy in our parking lot that sells things. I call him the parking lot pimp. He was really bad last year but he has since calmed down since someone snitched on him but he still tries to sell stuff from time to time. Today he is selling cupckaes….

Me: Excuse me sir. Why are you selling baked goods? Nobody knows you, why would I buy baked goods from a man I don’t know? Did you cook the stuff or did your wife cook it? Is it gluten-free, what kind of sugar you use?

Parking Lot Pimp: You are asking way too many questions why don’t you buy something and taste it. I will give you a cupcake for free

Me: (I take the cupcake and smell it)

Parking Lot Pimp: Eat it

Me: Sir, who are you talking to, you can have your cupcake back I will eat it when I have dissected it completely.

He moves on to another car and people really are buying his stuff

BTW I never ate the cupcake I threw it in the trash. I could tell it was not moist when I picked it apart, looked like cornbread.

Also, in the line, we have the grandma who I believe is drunk. She lives out near me so in the mornings she is in front of me and in the evenings she is in front of me. She swerves like a mug, slams on brakes and no one is in front of her, and doesn’t know how to stop at a stop sign for a few seconds then go, she just sits there for at least a minute. The other day I saw her get out of the car and she walked to the trunk and tripped on her tire…..that was on the car. I was like what in the world yeah she would not be picking my kids up.

I have more stories from the car line but it’s too much for one day. Do you have any stories from the car line?

Wed Links

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