How to date in your late 30’s

How do you date in your late 30’s? I haven’t dated since…whew…2002. Geesus it’s been a while but since the hubs is gone and my friends have been trying to set me up I thought I would get back in this dating world. Do I really want to date? I am good with being on my own. I’ve had boyfriends since I was 15 years old and this is the longest I’ve been without a man. That actually feels good. I get to spend time with myself but it’s also not so great because I’m very picky these days. I want what I want and I will not compromise on anything. I have been on 5 dates so far this year and to be honest they were nice guys but they all wanted something different than what I had in mind. One had a great job but he wanted more kids…that is out of the question for me at this point. One was cute and smelled good but he had 6 kids. What….like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6? I had to count on my hands. Nope. Dating in my late 30’s can be hard and it’s very different than dating in your 20’s or even your early 30’s because you aren’t as close to 40. Here are some tips on how to date in your late 30’s.

How to date in your late 30’s

Learn to date outside of your comfort zone.

Date outside of your race and don’t be afraid to date older or even younger. Now I have an age range that I don’t go over or under. If I’m old enough to be your mom hell no. If you are old enough to be my father…again hell no. As far as race I think it’s cool to date someone of a different race. Be open to dating someone of a different culture also. You never know where love will find you. Also don’t date where you live either. I have had a date with a guy from Greenville, SC so be open to leaving your city to date.

Know what you want

My list isn’t hard. Have a job. A real job where taxes are involved. Don’t have any more kids than I have. If you have 2 great if you have more than 2 it’s not a deal-breaker but I would love to not have to meet a lot of baby mamas. Be honest. The first lie I catch you in you are gone. Like I am giving you no second chances. I am sorry I have been lied to one too many times and I’m too old. If you have 5 women let me know that upfront. If you just want an eff buddy then let me know that up front. Don’t lie to me about anything because as Maya said when they show you who they are the first time believe them. I don’t care how you look because looks mean nothing just be clean. See my list isn’t bad but I will not bend on anything but the kids and 3 is the max. I know what I want and I won’t settle for just anyone

Be comfortable being on your own

Look it can be hard when all of your friends are settling down and getting married or having kids. It’s tough to see but you have to be honest with yourself and know that it’s ok to be on my own. Take yourself out on dates, buy yourself the flowers, go on the vacation solo. It’s really ok to be by yourself. You don’t have to always be with your friends.

Don’t worry about bad dates

I actually haven’t had a bad date. Only ones that teach me exactly what I want and I know that I can walk away knowing I will not accept less. It can be depressing to have gone on over 10 dates and not find not one person who is compatible but look at the bright side, you had fun, you at least went out, and you got to see what you don’t want so that you can be ready for what you do want.

Personally I like dates that aren’t dinner and a movie. You gotta think outside the box with me because I can do dinner and a movie on my own. Feed me but give me a different experience. Also, no chillis or olive garden sorry. Nothing wrong with those places but I went there in my 20’s let’s do better. Dating in my 30’s should include a nicer spot to eat at and more than just a regular movie. Take me to the Tyler Perry studio to allow me to be a part of the movie.

Here are some questions I usually get while out here dating. 

Do I want to marry again?

I get this question a lot and my answer is a solid no. I won’t say ever but I do not want to be married again. I think marriage for me is a one and done thing. I am open to having a nice boyfriend that can travel with me and we can grow old together but I don’t need any papers to do so. I also do not want to live with a man ever again. I am used to living alone these days and I’m kind of selfish which is not good for marriage lol. I don’t want to wash anyone’s clothes but my own and I’m not cooking. I’ll come and see you but that’s about it lol. I also don’t want to bring any man into my bed with my children here unless there is a ring on my finger and since that’s not happening no man will be spending a night in my home unless my kids aren’t here or they have moved out.

Do I want more kids?

Chile….I babysat a while ago and that answer is a HELL NO. I wish someone would ask me that. They grow to fast and they don’t stay babies. They also cry a lot at night and I gotta get my sleep. Plus my kids are old enough to be by themselves so if I want to go away for the day I can do so without worrying about a babysitter.

What do you like to do for fun?

I normally ask them what they like to do for fun back before I answer. Fun to me is netflixing and chilling with a good movie but fun to you might be going sky diving. Look we gotta meet in the middle but I am open to new adventures.

Dating as a widow can be hard also so I don’t mention that I am one unless they ask specifically where my kids father is at. Normally I can get by with saying I’m single and he is no longer in the picture. Which technically I’m not lying lol.

So any advice for me in this dating world? If you know a single guy who fits my criteria let me know.