No parent is the same. We all parent differently. So how can you create your lane, stay in it, and not worry about what others are doing? I don’t know, but here is how I’m creating my own lane and I hope that it helps you think about how you can create your own lane when it comes to parenting.
Create your own lane when it comes to parenting
Adapt to the changes. Parenting my kids won’t work like how my mom parented me. These kids have access to the internet and they will use it. Sometimes unintentionally. Back in the day, my mom whipped my ass these days if a child gets hit they may say my mom whipped me and then word gets to the friend’s parent, and boom someone calls dfacs, and it’s a mess. I can take some pointers from my mom but I can’t do what she did this is a different time and era. My friend who isn’t a mom always says if I was a mom I would do this or that and I laugh because when she does become a mom she will have a time on her hands because it’s not as easy as our parents made it look.
Be confident in the choices you make. People dragged me when I got my 10 year old a phone. OMG, she is so young but I knew what I needed to do for my family and I did that. She dances and I had to drop her off one day. I went window shopping and got stuck in traffic which made me late to pick her up. Of course, the dance studio didn’t have a phone and she didn’t quite know my number by heart so I didn’t have anyone to call to say I would be late. The front desk person tried to find my number but I was about an hour late to pick her up. She was crying and thought something happened to me. Right then I said I have to get her a phone even if it’s a phone that only has 3 numbers on it.
Be real with your kids. Now, this is one thing I kept from my mom’s parenting that worked for me. She always kept it real even if it hurt. I talk to my kids like they are little adults I don’t mince words at all. Call me harsh (they do it) but also call me real. I don’t sugarcoat parts of the body, I don’t sugarcoat the world that we live in with racism, I don’t sugarcoat that life will not be fair all the time.
I talk about my childhood a lot so they can understand that I was a child also. I think most kids well my kids at least think I was born as an adult. That I don’t all the tricks to use. Yes, they do it differently but it is still kinda the same but with a new twist. My son tried to lie to me the other day about going over to his friend’s house. His friend was having a birthday party and the mom had already spoken to me about leaving around 4 pm that evening. my son comes to me while at work around noon saying they were leaving for the go-kart place now and that I needed to leave my job and take him because he didn’t want to miss out. I slowly sipped my coffee and told him oh well I guess you will miss it. He huffed and puffed and then finally came back an hour later saying he guesses they leaving at 4….I knew he was trying to get over there early and he tried to use the lie tactic on me. I did not give in because I did the same as a child lol.
Create time with them doing what they love. I have two kids and I hate doing some of the things they like doing but I have to muster up that inner acting and do it. It means a lot to them to at least try to be a part of their world. My daughter loves baking and so when we spend time together I’m her get the ingredients girl and she has me taste testing (my gawd it’s horrendous) but I do it because she loves doing it. They have to live with us but we also need to live with them and make sure we hear them and see them in the things they love to do.
How do you parent? There is no wrong or right answer because we are all doing the best we can!
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15 Comments
Tara Pittman
May 13, 2021 at 7:53 pmI so agree that there is no one right way to parent. I have 5 kids and they all have different ways of me parenting them.
Brandy
May 13, 2021 at 11:19 pmI love this! I was creating my own lane forever with my kids. Mostly I just listen to their cues and paid close attention to what each one needed. I adjusted my parenting based on each child as an individual and went with it – they’re now almost 19, almost 15, and most 13. So far so good 🙂 I am happy they are happier life is good! I will keep adapting based on what they need, while sure listening to others advice bu always going with my gut 🙂
Kathy
May 14, 2021 at 1:36 amI love this so much. I completely agree as well. Parenting can be hard at times. No parent is the same. We all parent differently.
Wanda Lopez
May 14, 2021 at 4:34 pmThe beauty of parenting and the uncertainty of parenting is so real. The way I parent is far from the way my parents parented and the way my siblings parent. We all unique in our own ways. Love this post so much.
Shannon Graham
May 14, 2021 at 5:15 pmBEING REAL! That’s such a huge one. Such a lost concept these days.
melissa chapman
May 14, 2021 at 8:08 pmParenting may be the toughest job i will ever have and it will not end even when the kids leave the home. I try to talk to them as much as possible and spend quality time together.
Richelle Escat
May 15, 2021 at 5:32 amI couldn’t agree more, especially with your first tip. Parenting is so much different in this era.
Lynndee
May 15, 2021 at 2:10 pmCreating time with them is important. I listen to what my son had to say too. Communication is key.
Louisa
May 15, 2021 at 3:18 pmI agree, there is no one size-fit-all way of parenting. Being confident in your choices is very key
Heather - thedomesticdiva.org
May 15, 2021 at 3:52 pmLove this. I think it is so important to be open and honest with your kids.
Terri A Steffes
May 15, 2021 at 3:59 pmYou know, I don’t think you could have said it any better. Parents have to adjust to what their child needs. As a school administrator, I have learned there is no such thing as a “normal” child! They are all full of quirks and nuances.
Marysa
May 16, 2021 at 1:36 amParenting can be such a tough job. It makes sense that we should use what strategies work best.
Swathi
May 16, 2021 at 5:25 pmThanks for sharing these tips yes being mom and during this difficult time it is not that easy.
Catalina
May 16, 2021 at 7:47 pmI love the idea of talking more about my childhood!This is something that I haven’t done a lot till now!
IceCreamnStickyFingers
May 17, 2021 at 6:38 amI agree with you 100%. Being raised in the 70/80s, was a totally different ball game. They allowed parents to spanking their child without any lash back or worry about the child being abused. Heck, they even gave spankings at school.
My son has had his phone since he was 8. Being divorced, I got the phone so he could talk to his dad anytime. It has worked out great. He doesn’t take it to school or anything yet. But I do let him have access to content but I have to approve what he does.