Confessions Of A Widow

Confessions of a widow… Being a widow is hard! It’s hard because I have to raise kids alone and it’s not my choice. It sucks but today I wanted to tell you all about a few confessions that I have as a widow.

Confessions Of  A Widow

I don’t want your man

Y’all will be surprised how many married women are keeping their men under lock and key. As soon as I became a widow a few women that I know have been acting cray cray. I never disrespect families in any way and trust me I don’t want your man. I don’t know why when widows come around y’all act crazy like we will jump on the first man we see after our husbands die. We are grieving, some of us truly loved our husbands and wouldn’t even think about trying to be with another man…eva. So stop thinking that widows want your man. (Unless your man is Idirs Elba…there is an exception to the rule)

I have no plans on getting married

Stop asking. I truly don’t want to get married ever again. I know some folks say well never say never but honestly I don’t want to get married again. Marriage is tough and I know the hard work that needs to go into it and right now I love being free. I love the freedom of not having to cook dinner most nights if I want cereal I can have cereal. I love the freedom of only having to wash clothes every two weeks, I love not having to pick things up all the time off the floor, I love decorating my house the way I want it done, I love being able to go without having to check calendars with someone else. I also love that my money is my money and I don’t have to share which I wouldn’t do anyway lol what’s mine is mine and what’s his is mine. I wouldn’t mind an Oprah and Stedman set up but he gotta have his own house and we can visit each other a few days a week.

I don’t sleep well

I never slept at night. I won’t blame that on the hubs passing away but I will say that since he died I really don’t get any sleep at night. It’s not because I’m scared or anything because my Saturday night special is close by but I do think about things at night. Something about the quiet and still of the night that has your mind going a mile a minute.

Don’t ask me who I’m dating

If you see me out and about mind ya business. I’m not dating anyone…I might be out with a guy but we ain’t dating lol. We just out and about and I am getting some free food. If you see me with a guy multiple times we still aren’t dating we just have an understanding.

Stop saying you are sorry for my loss

Are you sorry? If you have a husband you aren’t sorry because you have no idea how that feels. Instead of saying that maybe try, I’m sorry you have to go through this I can’t imagine how that must feel. Or better yet just stare blankly at me and be silent.

Stop asking me for money

Oh yeah, this happened a few times lol. My husband didn’t have any insurance so please stop acting like I am a rich widow with money in the bank. I work hard for the money in my bank and it ain’t even enough in there to pay 3 months of my mortgage. Also, to men who think all widows are rich…we aren’t. Well, some are but it’s the older ones who had that insurance on lock. My husband was young so we didn’t expect for him to die so suddenly and we weren’t prepared

I still keep pictures of him up

Some people would say why are there so many pictures of my husband in my home it’s not for me…it’s for my kids so they won’t forget him. We watched Coco for the first time this weekend and I loved how they have to keep the memory alive from generation to generation so that no one forgets them. I told my kids I do that in our home. I have their dad’s pictures up all over my house so that they know Dad is still around and that they never forget him. I will never take my pictures down I don’t care what or who man comes to my house.

I am open to love

Yes, I would love to find love again. I think that surprises people, some say well your husband should be the love of your life…he was and will always have a piece of my heart but I’m alive and I’m human so I would love to have that special love with a man but I am so picky after the hubs died I doubt that will happen but they say, never say never. I still don’t want marriage with that, just the love part

These are just a few of my confessions of a widow. I have many more that are more personal to me that I won’t be confessing on my blog because my kids can read but these are just a few that I thought I would share.

It has been hard becoming a widow and I don’t wish it on anyone.

These are my confessions of a widow. Now it’s your turn you don’t have to be a widow to share a confession but share something that you want to confess and get off your chest. I’m all ears!