How to ask for help when you need it

I hate asking for help! Period! I think it’s because I’ve been burned so many times when people say yeah and then I sit there and sit there and they never come through. I got tired of asking and started doing stuff on my own. Then people would say well why didn’t you ask for my help…because I already asked 5 people and no one came through so I decided to not ask for help again. What I’ve learned though is that we all need help. No one can do this adulting alone so even though it pains me to ask for help sometimes I know that I need to do it in order to make it sometimes. Here is how to ask for help when you need it.

Here is how to ask for help when you need it

Sometimes we don’t ask for help due to pride, fear, or judgment. I know I don’t ask for help sometimes because of all three. It just depends on what the help is. I remember when we could barely feed our kids my pride wouldn’t let me ask my friends for money or even tell them what we were going through. I had to feed my kids though so I had to suck it up and ask them for help. It made me sick y’all because how do I look asking for help when I have a whole husband. Yep, people will look at you cray cray if you ask for help when you have a man in the home. That was one of my judgment moments. Would they judge me? Would they talk badly about my husband not being able to afford for us to make ends meet? All of those thoughts went through my head as I asked 2 of my friends for money to buy food…basic stuff.

Let’s talk about being specific

Be honest and direct when you ask for help. Don’t beat around the bush. If you need money to pay the light bill don’t say well you know my light is high this month and I don’t know what I’m going to do. If you know your light bill is short and you need the help ask and be specific. My light bill is $340 can you help me

Be prepared for a no

Chile…folks have told me no all of my life. This is why I don’t ask for help. I wanted to find out how to sell T-shirts one girl specifically told me no. I had to figure it out on my own and I did. This leads me into my next point…

Be of help in order to get help 

No one can say I don’t help them with info. If I know it I will say it but there is a but…don’t come to me asking for my help if you don’t speak to me in some way. That can be via liking my posts, interacting with me on a social platform, etc. When I asked the person to help me with T-shirts it was a person whom I spoke to on a regular basis, I didn’t just ask her to help me out of the blue.

Demonstrate that you’ve tried 

Asking for help is one thing but have you tried to find other avenues for your help. Make asking for money your last resort. Questions to things can be a hit or miss on google so if you have looked it up and can’t find the answer please feel free to ask someone who does that you speak to regularly. People are more inclined to help those who have tried to help themselves first.

Collaborate

If I need money for a bill see what you can do to get that money. Barter or exchange some labor for the money. When I asked my friend to borrow money I told her I would come and clean her home in exchange for the money since money isn’t free. Don’t just expect people to give you something for nothing at least offer even if they say no. Show that you are willing to do what you need to do for what you need to get.

Asking for help isn’t easy but if you need help please ask. Don’t sit there and suffer in silence because you were too afraid to open your mouth. Closed mouths don’t get fed is an old saying my mom used to say. People enjoy helping others but make sure you seek out those that enjoy it. Sometimes you can come across selfish people who won’t help anybody but themselves. Leave them right there and seek out people who don’t mind helping you out. So here is a rundown on how I ask for help

Hey, I need some help. I am going out of town for the weekend and I need help with my kids. If you are not busy do you mind picking them up from school and dropping them off (insert a place)? I can leave you gas money for your troubles and please let me know what I can do for you in return.

I am short on my rent this month. Do you have a few hundreds that you can spare? In return, I can come and clean up around your house or give you some free time next week from the kids and babysit. I can also pay you back by giving you such and such a week. (only ask those that you know have extra money to spear)

Both scenarios above I have asked and I got results. 

Can you give me some helpful tips on how you ask for help? When was the last time you asked for help?