Tips on how to survive being a single mom to a boy

Whew, welcome to 13. My son is officially 13 years old his birthday was yesterday and I can’t believe he is now a teenager. Not a preteen, not a little boy, but a young man. For his birthday photoshoot, I wanted to do something different this year. I am tired of him dressing like he just woke up out of bed. I decided to do a GQ photo shoot and make him get his grown man on. Thanks to one of the hubs best friends who took him to get his fitted suit. He looks all CUTTEEEEE. I wanted to breakdown some tips on how to survive being a single mom to a boy.

Being a single mom to a boy is something that I wasn’t prepared for. He was 10 when his dad died and he was a daddy’s boy. Not a mama’s boy but a daddy boy. His dad was tough on him more than I was so he pays me no attention when I try to discipline him. I am not a man so I will say this…in my opinion and this is my opinion a young boy needs to be around grown men. He is getting into teenage years and he needs a man around. I can’t help him much so that is why I try to surround him with good men. Can a single woman raise a young man? We can but it would be much easier if a man was around to help him navigate this world from a man’s perspective. Since I don’t have that readily available here are some tips on how to survive being a single mom to a boy.

Tips on how to survive being a single mom to a boy

Let him have his space

My son is a pretty much good kid but sometimes he gets into these moods and I want to go off but I back up. I allow him his space and then revisit the topic at hand later. If we are talking about his grades and he gets frustrated and say school is hard he hates it…I could go off but I try to remember he is a boy and that is his feelings are not mine so I let it go for the time being. I revisit the conversation when things have calmed down some and we discuss it without yelling.

Let him do things on his own

I am always trying to fix things and correct things. I have to learn how to stop doing that. My son said he couldn’t fix his tv the other day. I told him to look it up on youtube or google it and fix it himself. He got mad at first but then found a way to fix it himself. I also allow him to go into the grocery store and pick up items alone, I allow him to pump gas, I also make him paint around my house. This year he will be learning about how to change a tire and use some tools. I can’t coddle him any longer it’s time to let him do things by himself even if it takes a min to figure it out.

Talk to him, not at him

I have grown conversations with my son. We talked about the Central Park Five movie on Netflix and why it’s a must that he at all times says he needs a lawyer present and he won’t answer any questions without one. I talk to him about being a black boy in this world and I don’t sugarcoat it for him. I would love to let him live in a world where he thinks everything is ok and he can still be naive but as he gets older and wants to do things with his friends like the movies or the mall it’s a must that I talk to him about what’s going on in this world so that he can be prepared. We have real conversations about real life things no matter the subject even sex.

Put them in something

Boys have a lot of energy so they should be in something….anything. Sports are great but not all boys love sports. My son played football for 4 years and hated it. He sacked the quarterback a couple of times but he didn’t want to get hit. He has been in boxing, swimming, and now Jiu-Jitsu. He hates all of the stuff I put him in but he will not sit around and play fortnite all day. He will do something as an outlet that isn’t school related. I also want him around other kids I believe in having friends from all different backgrounds and areas not just school friends.

Give them love even if they don’t want it

My son is at the age where he doesn’t even want to acknowledge me. He will walk 10 steps ahead and gawd forbid I come up to the school and try to hug him chile I will get the stiff mom please leave me alone body language. So I show him love by doing other things that won’t embarrass him. I send him a text on his phone every morning during school. It could be something funny, something encouraging, something as simple as have a good day. He reads them but he has never said anything about me sending them. I also spend one on one time with him doing something he loves like going paintballing and letting him freely hit me. I don’t overly say I love you all the time in words but he knows by my actions that I do.

On this birthday I want my son to know that he is loved! He is a great young man and I am so proud of him. He is an almost perfect child if he would do his school work and turn it in. The only real arguments are with that school work and getting off the fortnite. He does his chores (sometimes), he is very respectful, no real attitude problems at all, and an all-around good kid. I want to wish him a very happy birthday!