Today would have been my moms 69th birthday. She was a true Capricorn…she stayed dressed, loved to cook and entertain, and she told people what they wanted to hear and what they didn’t want to hear. I remember we were at church one Sunday I was about 9 or 10 and one of the church members daughters had just had a baby and my mom’s girlfriend went over to the baby and said awwww what a cute baby. She came back over to my mom and my mother said…you lied…that baby is ugly. Stop lying to these parents and these babies….y’all should have seen my mouth hang open…on the church grounds whaaaaaaaa. That’s how she was though she didn’t sugar coat anything. I never recalled her saying the words I love you to me at all. She wrote it on cards and gifts but never said the words to me until the last day I saw her alive. She didn’t have to say it though….I knew by her actions that she did. My mother grew up in Philly and Charleston,SC she would spend half the time up north and the rest down south growing up going back and forth for years until my grandmother settled in Charleston finally for high school. My mom got her high school diploma but instead of going to college she opted for a trade. She took up sewing and got her first job at Levi’s….yes the Levi’s she worked there sewing jeans together for many years until they moved overseas. Her first job was where she met her lifelong friends three of them….who to this day are more of Aunts to me than my real Aunts. She had me at a older age or what some would say late in life because she took time to travel the world and live her life before she got married and settled down. I am an only child because it took years for my mom to get pregnant so after me I guess she didn’t try again.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer for the first time when I was in the 8th grade going into the 9th grade. Didn’t know much about cancer then….I just thought it was like a cold you take some meds and you get better. Her meds took months though but she got better. She lost all of her hair and weight but she got better! The second time she was diagnosed was when I was a Senior in High school this time I did more research and knew a bit more about cancer. My mom had Sarcoma cancer I asked how she thought she got it and she told me she felt that she got it from years on birth control pills but that was just her thinking we nor the doctors knew how she got it. I remember her going through rounds of chemo and stuff and surgery. They were able to remove the tumor and they released her from the hospital the day of my graduation. My mom told those doctors if they didn’t release her in time for my 11am graduation…she was going to leave the hospital on her own…to hell with them. She made it to my graduation with 5 minutes to spare in a wheelchair with the help of her best friend. I remember my mom was so tired that day. I told her I would stay home (had several parties to attend but I wanted to be with her) and she told me no..go and enjoy life. I went but didn’t stay out long. I came home and she had presents for me laid out. I went off to college, got married and had a baby and then she was diagnosed again this time it had spread and there was nothing the Doctors could do. I didn’t want to believe it so I stayed away from home because I knew…I knew that she was dying and I didn’t want to accept that. After some scolding from her friends I finally got up the nerve to go and get her to bring her to live with me until she passed. I saw her on December 16th (my birthday) for the last time her last words to me was Kita…take care of that boy and I love you. I didn’t even look at her as she said it to my back…as I walked out the door I closed my eyes as tears ran down my face and said quietly I know mom….I know. She passed away in hospice on December 19th 2007.
Today is her birthday (She was January 16th, I’m December 16th my daughter is April 16th and 2016 was the year I lost my Husband……yeah that 16 is a rough number) and I wanted to share some dreams that she had for me that I have accomplished
My mom had a dream for me to finish high school at the top of my class. I came in in the top 15
My mom had a dream of me finishing college and I did…late though. I took a year off because that money was looking better than a college degree and my job had made me manager. My mom called me after about a year off from college and said…so when you going back. I graduated two years later with a BA in Business
My mom had a dream to see me married to a nice young man. I was and she went above and beyond for my wedding
My mom had a dream to see her first grandchild and she did. My son was attached to her and always pulled her hair
My mom had a dream for me to be better than her….and I achieved that. I own my own business and I am proud of what she has taught me. Her old school ways still live within me
Today I celebrate my mom’s birthday by doing something she loved…..crafts. My mom’s only dream was to go to Paris…and I am sure she is enjoying her own Paris up in heaven!
My mom is my MLK because she had dreams for me…she loved me enough to put her dreams aside, her life aside to make sure I had what I needed. She fought anyone that messed with me, she taught me that we speak to all races and all colors no matter what and if they are rude then cuss them out, she taught me to be someone…..not just a bump on a log but be someone that you can be proud of. I hope she is proud of me as I live out my dreams!