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It's Life

My mom was my MLK. Happy Birthday Mom!

January 16, 2017

Today would have been my moms 69th birthday. She was a true Capricorn…she stayed dressed, loved to cook and entertain, and she told people what they wanted to hear and what they didn’t want to hear. I remember we were at church one Sunday I was about 9 or 10 and one of the church members daughters had just had a baby and my mom’s girlfriend went over to the baby and said awwww what a cute baby. She came back over to my mom and my mother said…you lied…that baby is ugly. Stop lying to these parents and these babies….y’all should have seen my mouth hang open…on the church grounds whaaaaaaaa. That’s how she was though she didn’t sugar coat anything. I never recalled her saying the words I love you to me at all. She wrote it on cards and gifts but never said the words to me until the last day I saw her alive. She didn’t have to say it though….I knew by her actions that she did. My mother grew up in Philly and Charleston,SC she would spend half the time up north and the rest down south growing up going back and forth for years until my grandmother settled in Charleston finally for high school. My mom got her high school diploma but instead of going to college she opted for a trade. She took up sewing and got her first job at Levi’s….yes the Levi’s she worked there sewing jeans together for many years until they moved overseas. Her first job was where she met her lifelong friends three of them….who to this day are more of Aunts to me than my real Aunts. She had me at a older age or what some would say late in life because she took time to travel the world and live her life before she got married and settled down. I am an only child because it took years for my mom to get pregnant so after me I guess she didn’t try again.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer for the first time when I was in the 8th grade going into the 9th grade. Didn’t know much about cancer then….I just thought it was like a cold you take some meds and you get better. Her meds took months though but she got better. She lost all of her hair and weight but she got better! The second time she was diagnosed was when I was a Senior in High school this time I did more research and knew a bit more about cancer. My mom had Sarcoma cancer I asked how she thought she got it and she told me she felt that she got it from years on birth control pills but that was just her thinking we nor the doctors knew how she got it. I remember her going through rounds of chemo and stuff and surgery. They were able to remove the tumor and they released her from the hospital the day of my graduation. My mom told those doctors if they didn’t release her in time for my 11am graduation…she was going to leave the hospital on her own…to hell with them. She made it to my graduation with 5 minutes to spare in a wheelchair with the help of her best friend. I remember my mom was so tired that day. I told her I would stay home (had several parties to attend but I wanted to be with her) and she told me no..go and enjoy life. I went but didn’t stay out long. I came home and she had presents for me laid out. I went off to college, got married and had a baby and then she was diagnosed again this time it had spread and there was nothing the Doctors could do. I didn’t want to believe it so I stayed away from home because I knew…I knew that she was dying and I didn’t want to accept that. After some scolding from her friends I finally got up the nerve to go and get her to bring her to live with me until she passed. I saw her on December 16th (my birthday) for the last time her last words to me was Kita…take care of that boy and I love you. I didn’t even look at her as she said it to my back…as I walked out the door I closed my eyes as tears ran down my face and said quietly I know mom….I know. She passed away in hospice on December 19th 2007.

Today is her birthday (She was January 16th, I’m December 16th my daughter is April 16th and 2016 was the year I lost my Husband……yeah that 16 is a rough number) and I wanted to share some dreams that she had for me that I have accomplished

My mom had a dream for me to finish high school at the top of my class. I came in in the top 15

My mom had a dream of me finishing college and I did…late though. I took a year off because that money was looking better than a college degree and my job had made me manager. My mom called me after about a year off from college and said…so when you going back. I graduated two years later with a BA in Business

My mom had a dream to see me married to a nice young man. I was and she went above and beyond for my wedding

My mom had a dream to see her first grandchild and she did. My son was attached to her and always pulled her hair

My mom had a dream for me to be better than her….and I achieved that. I own my own business and I am proud of what she has taught me. Her old school ways still live within me

Today I celebrate my mom’s birthday by doing something she loved…..crafts. My mom’s only dream was to go to Paris…and I am sure she is enjoying her own Paris up in heaven!

My mom is my MLK because she had dreams for me…she loved me enough to put her dreams aside, her life aside to make sure I had what I needed. She fought anyone that messed with me, she taught me that we speak to all races and all colors no matter what and if they are rude then cuss them out, she taught me to be someone…..not just a bump on a log but be someone that you can be proud of. I hope she is proud of me as I live out my dreams!

 

  • Reply
    Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle
    January 16, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    Oh my gosh, I love that so much. Moms are so much more than just lunch makers, and your story proves that. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I am so glad that you are able to mourn the loss of such a great woman. She sounds like she was quite a lady.

  • Reply
    Pam Wattenbarger
    January 16, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    What a sweet post to honor your mom. She sounds like she was a really strong and inspirational woman.

  • Reply
    MJ.L
    January 16, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    I love this! She sounds like she was an amazing person and Mother!

  • Reply
    Liz Mays
    January 16, 2017 at 9:58 pm

    This is really sweet! It’s amazing that she was able to make it to your graduation under the circumstances. It sounds like she was a real hero.

  • Reply
    Lou
    January 17, 2017 at 12:13 am

    Beautiful Kita! Your mom is shining down at you very proud of all you’ve accomplished.

    Today, is the day my step-dad passed back in 2010 of kidney disease. He raised me since I was 1 years old like I was his own. I was very close to him and he was my biggest cheerleader in life. He, too for his last words told me to make sure to take care of his grand babies and loved me. My dad is my MLK!

  • Reply
    Kelly
    January 17, 2017 at 12:20 am

    This was such a beautifully written post. Your mom must be so proud of everything you have done and who you have become.

  • Reply
    Veronica Solomon
    January 17, 2017 at 1:12 am

    Sounds like your mom was one amazing lady! Way to remember her

  • Reply
    Gina Dunklebarger
    January 17, 2017 at 2:21 am

    Beautifully written, and a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

  • Reply
    Gina Dunklebarger
    January 17, 2017 at 2:21 am

    What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

  • Reply
    Jeanine
    January 17, 2017 at 3:20 am

    How sweet. Your mom sounds like she was pretty amazing. This is a lovely post and very lovely to remember her by!

  • Reply
    Our Family World
    January 17, 2017 at 10:47 am

    Well said! Such a beautiful written! Sweet and proud, I’m sure your mom it is!

  • Reply
    Rosey
    January 17, 2017 at 11:08 am

    What a sweet tribute to your mother. Happy Birthday to her!

  • Reply
    Toni | Boulder Locavore
    January 17, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    Happy birthday to your mom! Such a sweet message for her! An inspiring story for moms to have a great impact to their children’s lives.

  • Reply
    Johlene Orton
    January 17, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    This is beautiful Kita and I love how you accomplished all the dreams she had for you. Really beautiful.

  • Reply
    Seattle Travel Blogger
    January 17, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    Your mother sounds like she was a heck of a woman.
    It is amazing how long she fought cancer.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    January 17, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    This is such a love letter to your mom and a testament to her legacy- I bet she is smiling down on you and so proud of your achievements!

  • Reply
    Kelly Hutchinson
    January 17, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. What a young age to have lost her. I lost my mom a few years ago. It just doesn’t get easier, does it?

  • Reply
    Amy Desrosiers
    January 17, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    Oh my gosh is this so sad. I am so sorry your mom had to deal with cancer and eventually succumb to it. I lost my dad of a heart issue when he was just 51. After reading this, I can agree that my dad was like your mom and has a dream for his kids. Great story and sorry for your loss.

  • Reply
    Robin Rue
    January 18, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    This is such a sweet tribute to your mother. I am so sorry for your loss and I know that people are always saying that. I know that you are a strong woman and you have so much to give. She would be proud!

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