Things to expect from a real friendship

Friends how many of us have them…

There are a few things I expect from real friendship. It’s not the reg stuff like loyalty, trust, etc. What I need is a giving person. Someone who isn’t selfish. I also need someone who respects my boundaries. What does a true friend mean to you? I break my friends down into categories. An associate, a Friend, and a Bestie. Not many people get past the friend level because to be my bestie requires me knowing you for at least 5 years +. Fake friendships are great if you keep folks around for a need but as I’m getting older I want to make sure I value real friendships. It’s hard to find real friendships past a certain age because most people already have their core friendships. They made them in high school, college, or at work. My mom met all of her friends in her early 20’s and to this day they are still checking in with me and being people I can depend on as a mother figure. So what are things to expect from a real friendship? Let’s talk about it.

Things to expect from a real friendship

Giver

I can’t stand a stingy ass friend. Give without expecting anything in return. If we go out we don’t split bills one of us pays the bill and the other might leave the tip and it’s a nonspoken thing that we do. When I go out with my friends if they got me today I got them the next time and vice versa. I also don’t like friends who nickel and dime you for everything. Let’s say we go out one night and you pay for my drinks and I tell you I got it and you insist on paying for it but then two days later ask me for the money back. That right there lets me know we can’t ever be friends. You are too selfish for me especially if I know you got it.

Loyalty

This should be a given but let’s take it further. Even if we don’t speak anymore what I have told you should stay with you till your grave. Such and such shouldn’t know what I said at any time. Friendships mean if I don’t like you I still respect you enough to keep your secrets and I expect the same in return. That you say I say mess…miss me with it. Keep your mouth shut even if the friendship has ended that lets me know right there if our friendship was real or not and probably a good way to let me know we made the right decision to part ways.

Respect my boundaries

If I say don’t call me on Sundays, don’t call me on Sundays. Now I understand if it’s an emergency you can text me and tell me it’s an emergency, can you call me. I will then call you back if I see it on my phone. Sundays are days that I take for myself to refresh and spend time with my kids. I don’t like to be disturbed. Do you know folks to this day will still call me on a Sunday after I’ve said don’t call me? I can’t stand people who don’t respect that. It’s not an emergency and I don’t want to talk about what you did all week. You can text me for that or wait until another day to tell me stuff.

Support

My real besties will recommend me for photo shoots, logos, etc. Don’t you hate when folks say their friends don’t support their small business? Guess what? Come closer…..they ain’t your friends. Sorry. A bestie will support you even when they can’t be in the same room. Perfect example my friend works on weekends so I had a party for my son she couldn’t make it. I understood that so what did she do? Help me pay for the party because she knew she couldn’t be there. Support comes in the form of sharing my content on my blog, sharing to your friends that I’m a photographer, sharing doesn’t take anything but a click of a button. People share who they wanna share if they ain’t sharing you stop calling them a friend and replace that word with an associate.

Realness

I don’t want friends who fake tell me my shat don’t stink. Latorsha who is my girl saw a t-shirt that I was selling a while back do you know she was the only one who emailed me right away to tell me a word was spelled wrong on the shirt. No one else caught it, no one else even bothered to say oh Kita your shirt is off. That tells me either people weren’t paying attention to the shirt they were just sharing it or people saw it and didn’t say anything about the misspelled word. Now don’t come for me for my grammar on here because I’m geechie and I will cuss you out most words may be broken English but it’s spelled correctly lol. Be real with me, Kita I don’t like your hair color, Kita I love you girl but you are too big. A real friend will call you up and instead of saying you fat as hell will say let’s go to the gym I paid for a trainer for 2 months for you and I both.

Compassion

The best way to tell who your real friends are the people who stand by you when you have nothing or when you lose someone you love. I lost my husband and a so-called friend didn’t even show up at the funeral. Now I know not everyone does funerals but if you are a friend show up in some way. Maybe come to the repast, come to the burial, cook me a meal for the week, come take me out, something…Don’t say sorry for your loss and then get lost. I noticed and I took notes.

I don’t have many besties I can count on one hand my besties. People who will move water and earth to make sure they got me even when I don’t have myself. My besties don’t let more than 48 hours go by without making sure I’m ok even if I say I am they still texting or calling or something. They say that people with very little friends are the realest…yep that’s me. I have a lot of friends though and some have the bestie potential but haven’t made the cut as of yet. Also, I have friends who I have met via social media that I’ve never met in real life. They are down for me more than some of the folks I know for real.

These are the things I expect from a real friendship. So what is one thing you expect from a friendship? Pictures were taken by yours truly!