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You get to decide what kind of King/Queen you will be

January 15, 2018

Black panther hits theaters Feb 16th! I am going to wait until the fanfare dies down to go and see it but I can’t wait.  There was one part in the trailer of Black Panther that stood out for me check the trailer below and go to 42 second mark

Oprah also gave a great speech at the Golden Globs award that had me thinking….we are some powerful ass people…..SHAT!

I’m black make no mistake about that. I don’t hate anyone of any color because we all bleed the same red blood. Now if you bleed a different color than red we may have a slight problem.  As I raise a King and a Queen I am often reminded of my heritage. Where I come from, the lessons we are taught, the trials we as African Americans have to go through and I wonder if I am doing all that I can to raise my children right. I make sure I fight for them because no one else will. My son in particular…..

I preach to my son that he needs to think beyond sports as a way to make money. He plays basketball with kids for the first time this year and he came to me saying that he isn’t good enough because the other kids play like they are in the NBA. I put him in basketball to lose weight not so much to win the game. I need him to move and I want to keep him active. I didn’t put him in because he has a career nor will we try to make a career out of basketball. It broke my heart when he said he wasn’t good enough. I don’t need you to be good enough I need you to learn the game and play with your heart. It doesn’t matter that others play better than you. Use your brain and outsmart them. I am not the smartest or the brightest when it comes to a lot of things but I can play the game enough to not let you win without a good fight. I told my son he gets to decide how he plays the game. You can be mad that you aren’t up to par or you can practice your game at home and work smarter not harder. You can watch basketball games and figure out how to do certain things but most importantly I want you to learn how to play the game your way and make it yours. As he gets older I want him to decide what kind of person he wants to be. He can roll with the wrong crowd and suffer the consequences or roll with the right crowd and reap the benefits ….he gets to decide. As he gets older I want to make sure he makes decisions based on various outcomes. That’s how I teach my kids…if you don’t study then this will be the outcome of your grades. You will fail and you may get put out of your school so the decision is yours. You have 50 dollars and you want to buy a new shoe…you can save your money and wait until it goes on sale or you can spend your money and it goes on sale the next week. Or you can spend your money and buy stock into the company and focus on that. You will outgrow your shoes anyway! Every decision he makes will have a consequence whether good or bad so I want him to decide what kind of King he will be. What kind of leader he will be. What kind of person he will be. He gets to decide that and don’t let anyone decide for you!

Now, my daughter, she is different. She already knows she’s a queen but with that comes some truths also. Yes, you are a queen but a queen does not brag. A queen is humble, a queen doesn’t let things get under her skin. A queen remains a queen at all times. Yes, we still have to fight for equal pay. Yes, we still have to fight men who want to take advantage of us and think we are all just bodies and no brain. Yes, we have to endure some hard times. A queen doesn’t get her crown easily. We have to swallow some bitter pills and I tell my daughter women have it harder because we take on so much. I want you to be a queen and wear your crown at all times. Never think you aren’t good enough. Never think you aren’t pretty enough and never be ashamed of the color of your skin. You get to decide what kind of queen you will be. You get to decide and say no when that decision doesn’t sit well with your soul. Never compromise who you are, you don’t have to show people that you are a queen walk the walk and they will see your crown.

I can’t wait to see Black Panther. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie that represented who I am, a Queen and I don’t mind seeing my Kings in this also. Here are some mantras that I teach my kids to ensure that their King and Queen Status stays intact

  • You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do
  • Say no and don’t offer any explanations
  • Be humble….always
  • Treat your fellow Kings and Queens with respect. You don’t have to like or agree with what they say but there is a certain level of respect that I want you to have
  • Speak your truth even if your words make you cry or makes your voice tremble
  • Don’t’ Freeze….they will attack you but don’t freeze

This MLK Day don’t’ Freeze. If you have a dream go after it and decide what type of King or Queen you will be from this day forward.

  • Reply
    Jay Colby
    January 15, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    I’m also eager to see the Black panther I think it will be worth the price of admission. I agree with you we have decide what type of person we’re going to be because in America we’re told what we can and can not do only a daily basis.

  • Reply
    January 15, 2018 at 5:43 pm

    PREACH THAT THING! WE get to decide what type of person we’re going to be!!! This movie is going to be so amazing, I just know it! I’m so excited about this, and the message, and the showing of the struggle to be an Avenger. I’m just so excited about it all!

  • Reply
    Crystal Nicole
    January 15, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Yes, honey! Especially saying no with no explanations. That’s me all 2018! I’ve always been the person who said yes to everything, and if I said no, I felt like it had to come with an explanation, but no more.

  • Reply
    January 15, 2018 at 10:45 pm

    I love your tips to your little queen:
    – to be humble
    – to not let things get under her skin
    – remain a queen

    So many women focus solely on having the confidence of a queen, not really the actions that come with it. It’s great to hear that you’re teaching your daughter that being a good person is part of being a queen

  • Reply
    January 15, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    I’m not big on movies, but this is on the list! I already know that it’s going to be a classic.

  • Reply
    EG III
    January 16, 2018 at 1:06 am

    Beautiful message! As kings and queens we must continue to rise and show our true royalty!

  • Reply
    Danasia Fantastic
    January 16, 2018 at 1:15 am

    I wish there was a “love” button that I can repeatedly like this post! I love how you refer to your kids as a King and Queen and teach them valuable lessons within that. I can’t wait for Black Panther either!

  • Reply
    January 16, 2018 at 1:27 am

    Love this! I can not wait for this movie. We are going to be deep at the theaters!

  • Reply
    January 16, 2018 at 2:26 am

    Man so much truth in this post! I’m so excited to see such a powerful cast and I’m so excited to support this film!

  • Reply
    January 16, 2018 at 6:02 pm

    YES those mantras are perfect, love how you are raising your kids to be so strong and independent!

  • Reply
    Elle (CleverlyChanging)
    January 17, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    I’ve been sitting on pins and needles. It’s not often that I watch a movie that exudes power, esteem, and beauty from a perspective and position I can relate to. Everything about this film says, I am going to have front row seats.

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    January 17, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    Yes to all of this. I had a similar talk with my son about basketball. Just because you aren’t the best player doesn’t mean you don’t add value.

    As for my daughter she has no idea that the Black Queen has the hardest job of everyone. We are tasked to save the world. A lot of times that comes without support from our men or other women. That is why we are so magical.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2018 at 10:32 pm

    I am ready to see Black Panther as well. I love this post and the mantras you shared. Thank you.

  • Reply
    January 22, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    What a powerful post! I love that you are teaching your kids how to be and stay little Kings and Queens. I am also extra excited for Black Panther as well its going to be a great representation of who we should keep claiming who we are as a people!

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