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It's Life

The world of Online Dating

June 9, 2016

I am newly single…and I am not a fan of going back into the dating world. I have single friends who have told me stories that scare me into being single for the rest of my life. I am 99% sure I will never get married again but I am open for love. Marriage….yeah I don’t think I want to live with someone anymore I am over it. I just need a nice boo thang where he has his own place and I have mine and when I don’t want to deal he can go bye bye. Marriage is beautiful don’t get me wrong but I was married for 10 years and I think that’s enough for me but who knows there is a 1% chance a man can change my mind……1%. In the meantime my friend asked me the other day…so Kita…when you are done mourning when will you be ready to date and how will you date? Ma’am…I am not ready for these questions but I did mention maybe I might try online dating she said oh been there done that let me give you some tips…….

  1. Men online play games just as much as those you meet in public – Really…oh gawd. She said that she met a guy online who was great they met a few times and hit it off well but then he just disappeared a few months later he shows up in the mall with his family and brand new baby. My friend said that she went right up to him and confronted him and the wife just stood there in horror. So rule number one…men online play games also it does not matter that they paid for the site they can still lie.
  2. Yes you can set up a profile of what you want but that doesn’t mean that you will get it – So I want a 6’1 man can be black or white, who has a good job, no more kids than what I have, doesn’t matter about looks, etc. What you will get is a 6’1 man who has a good job but he may have a selfish personality or he may have some world views that you just can’t jump on board with. So while on the surface you may get what you are looking for…you may have to go into detail about what you really want. Yes he has two kids but does he have them by the same women, is there drama involved, he has a good job but it could be a dangerous one or one that takes him out of town. You have to be able to dig deep or you will waste your time.
  3. The men feel that women on dating sites are desperate – So when I heard my friend say this one I was shocked. A man that she met on Match.com said that women on there are desperate to find love so men are on their looking for the weak women so they can take advantage of them. Yes…men will pay to take advantage of desperate women. I have seen them with my own eyes..women are desperate these days especially when you are hitting 40 with no kids, look good, got a great job, and you are lonely. I had no idea men paid to play with women hearts.

I met my husband online back when we here in college on collegeclub.com I liked online dating as I got to talk to the person and feel them out before actually meeting them. I guess I like to feel a person out first before wasting my time going on a date with them. I met my husband online and talked to him on the phone for a month before we actually met in person. I felt somewhat more connected to him because we had several conversations beforehand and I didn’t want it to be awkward on the first date. We met and the rest was history! I am weary these days so I don’t know…I told my friend I will become a virgin and just root for others in their relationships. I am not ready to get back out there not because I am still mourning the hubs because life goes on but I am just scared of the bullcrap that’s left. *sigh* I will however take the next few months to better myself, lose weight, and love Kita more.

Are you single? Would you do online dating? Why or why not? #itsreallykita Click To Tweet

the world of online dating

  • Reply
    Angelic Sinova
    June 10, 2016 at 11:04 am

    On the one hand, I’ve heard some real horror stories about online dating but then again, I know people who met online who are happily married with kids. With technology the way it is these days it seems like online dating is here to stay.

  • Reply
    Alli
    June 10, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    My cousin met her husband through an online dating service. I was her dating coach throughout the entire ordeal. πŸ™‚ There were a lot of frogs before she met her prince. I’ve written a blog post about it, but haven’t shared it yet.

  • Reply
    Jeanine
    June 10, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    I’m really glad I don’t have to worry about this. I don’t think I could do online dating, all the horror stories I hear (even though there are really amazing stories too!) I just don’t know if I could do it. It freaks me out just the thought of meeting someone from online.

  • Reply
    Bren Pace
    June 10, 2016 at 1:40 pm

    I met my hubs online, however, the process I took was one I would recommend to everyone! Make a list of questions and answers for each potential mate. Talk to them for several weeks or months before you meet. Continue to question them on your list and see if they flub up. Yeah, I caught many a man lying to me and was quick to call them out on it.

    There are some truthful men out there and it can be a good way to meet. Just take your time, be cautious, and always meet in very public areas.

    Good luck gf! You’re a beautiful woman so I think you can get quite a few “friends with benefits”. πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Chrishelle
    June 10, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    I am so glad I am not single. Things are so much more complicated today than over 20 years ago when I was dating. Great tips for on line dating.

  • Reply
    Mish
    June 10, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    I’m not into online dating but I have some friends who are. From what I have observed, their relationships tend to last shorter than those who have actually met personally. But I am not closing my doors to trying out online dating. Thanks for the tips! πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Jenny Finney
    June 10, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    OMGosh! This would definitely not want me to date online…but then again, I’m married. LOL! I would be terrified meeting someone online. I watch W A Y too many movies about bad things.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    June 10, 2016 at 8:15 pm

    Loved reading this! Online dating is certainly something else – a whole new experience.

  • Reply
    Brandy
    June 10, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    I met the man I am with now, coming up on one year in August on OKCupid – which is funny as that site was the least likely site I would think to find anything serious .. but I did and we click ridiculously well in the area of business, life and family. Online dating was frustrating for me – I just sort of put a profile out there and just remained steadfast in living my life while waiting to see what happened into my life.

  • Reply
    Heather Stone Brodbeck
    June 10, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    My best friend met her husband from an online dating site. And she is happy and now has a daughter she is adopting along with her biological boys. There are horror stories with online dating and regular dating but then there are true happy stories….

  • Reply
    Rebecca Swenor
    June 11, 2016 at 2:39 am

    Online dating is something I don’t know if I would do. I would be worried about if the person was really that person. My sister used to do the online dating and married her husband she met in a barefoot running club. Thanks for sharing the tips.

  • Reply
    Amanda Love
    June 11, 2016 at 12:35 pm

    I have a few friends who met their soulmate online so while some of what you said is true, not every guy is the same. You find those same people out in the real world as well. You just gotta weed through them

  • Reply
    Megan Elford
    June 11, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    I got married before online dating was a thing, but for my single friends, I can see how hard it is these days! It’s crazy! But couplehood can quickly become more of a priority than it should be, so kudos to you for wanting to enjoy your singlehood. I think more of us need to enjoy the place where we’re at right now. The rest will come if and when it’s supposed to.

  • Reply
    Chantal
    June 11, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    Like you I also met my husband online! I don’t think online dating is for everyone, but you never know unless you try!

  • Reply
    Debra P
    June 12, 2016 at 1:08 pm

    If I were looking, I wouldn’t look online. I don’t really trust people when it comes to their profiles, etc. Besides, who knows what is lurking inside? I would much rather meet them first. Although, it’s still no guarantee, at least you can get a sense of them.

  • Reply
    Liz Mays
    June 12, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    My daughter has done online dating from nearly college on and has had fair luck with it. But the guy she’s dating now she met in real life. I think it’s fine to online date these days!

  • Reply
    Jennifer Borget
    June 12, 2016 at 8:25 pm

    This is such an awesome post, it’s so true. I have no idea if I could do online dating. Just hearing my little sister’s difficulty online dating scares me.

  • Reply
    Jeni Hawkins
    June 13, 2016 at 11:13 am

    I’ve been online dating on and off for years! I actually met my boyfriend on an online dating site – but not before meeting a BUNCH of jerks! lol

  • Reply
    Karissa
    June 13, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    Sure there are horror stories… but there are those everywhere. I would say the majority of my single friends these days are one dating sites – and I wouldn’t be friends with them if they were crazy! So there is hope! You got this – keep a positive outlook!

  • Reply
    Peachy Adarne
    June 16, 2016 at 8:19 am

    I heard the same story from my sister who tried online dating it’s a real gamble sadly the way it’s going I can say she had enough. But I also have a friend who met her husband online.

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