An associate is someone who is not my friend whom I talk to once every 2-6 months. I keep them around because I have either A. known them a while or B. they have done something for me that none of my so called friends have done and its hard to just part ways. For instance this particular person is a cool person but she is ditzy as hell. Whenever we get on the phone it’s like prolonged silence and I hate talking to her but when my mom died she was the only person who stuck by me so I feel obligated to keep her around.
*phone rings*
Me: *looking at # aww damn her, I guess I can answer it have not spoken to her in a while* Hello
Associate: Hey girl how are you I have not spoken to you since Mothers Day. How are you and the family?
Me: Good, how are you
Associate: oh you know same ole same ole. I am coming to Atlanta in December I need to come to your house and see how you are living
Me: Yeah maybe we can meet up at a restaurant or something I stay so busy
Associate: Ok that’s cool what you doing that keeps you busy
Me: Taking care of the home, owning a business, and other stuff
Associate: what other stuff you can tell me we are best friends
Me: *sigh* no I can’t tell you. It’s something I am working on and I don’t want everyone to know
Associate: Oh ok you always up to something. Are you dating now? When will you start dating?
Me: I gotta go my daughter is crying call me when you get into town hopefully we can meet up
Associate: *she laughs and it sounds like he he like literally he he* We gotta catch up
Me: yep we sure do. Ok I really gotta go but call me
When my mom died and husband died she flew in from another state to come to their funeral she was the only person to do that. She is also nosy as hell and one thing she does is tell everyone my business and I don’t like that shat. If I tell her I might as well put a billboard up around the neighborhood. Maybe I should just cut all ties but I don’t want to hurt her feelings because every big event in my life she is always there for me but I just can’t stand her as a person.
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I’m doing this for my 38th birthday or at least something similar
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22 Comments
robin rue
October 25, 2017 at 11:51 amIt’s a tough one, but it sounds like you might just need to cut ties and be done with it. It sounds like she is just bringing you down.
candy
October 25, 2017 at 11:54 amSounds harsh to hear you say those things but we all have at least one of those type of people in our lives. Couples are hard especially when your husband and his friend are close but you really can’t stand the wife. Tough situation.
Alli Smith
October 25, 2017 at 12:03 pmI guess everyone has an associate like that. You hate to cut them out of your life totally but you really don’t like talking to them or being around them. Those nosy types are hard to deal with.
Amber Myers
October 25, 2017 at 12:24 pmI can imagine this can be tricky. I guess I’d keep her around, but not always answer the phone when she calls. I see she doesn’t call often, but still. Or if I answer, I’d be all, “Well, I’m busy, gotta go!” Maybe she’ll get the hint.
Anita
October 25, 2017 at 1:05 pmOh wow, this can be a bit tricky. I know the feeling. For my sake and peace of mind, I had to cut ties with two of my “associates.” Best decision I ever made.
Tomi C
October 25, 2017 at 1:24 pmIt’s always nice to have someone who really knows you. Here’s the truth, you know she’s gonna tell everything so be careful of what you say around her. She’s probably reading this post thinking it ain’t about her. *smile* I can’t wait for December when she visits the A. Inquiring minds will want to know if she came for a visit? Did you cut all ties? Yeah, don’t keep us in suspense long.
Jeanette
October 25, 2017 at 2:22 pmThat is definitely a tricky situation. In all honesty she lives far enough away that I don’t think you have too much to worry about. One dinner probably will not hurt. If it’s uncomfortable for you then maybe it’s just time to let the friendship is allowed.
Doria
October 25, 2017 at 3:36 pmWow, that’s such a complicated situation! On the one hand you’re clearly not friends in most ways, but she’s also consistently there for you in other ways… Yikes!
Mimi Green
October 25, 2017 at 6:10 pmI am cracking up laughing, but I feel you. iFly is expensive. Thank God Babe paid for it.
Lisa
October 25, 2017 at 10:45 pmWhen the associate isn’t of value to be moved up to friend, it borders on a toxic relationship. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of associates I’ve cut ties with, and I’m happier for it.
Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh
October 25, 2017 at 10:47 pmOh, I know these friends. I actually had a couple of them that I just let fall into the cracks. I understand you feel obligated to her because she was there for you in a time of need.
Pam
October 25, 2017 at 11:13 pmI have never been into snapchat. I definitely use Instagram stories instead. Sorry you’re having a rough time figuring out what to do about your acquaintance.
cheryl
October 26, 2017 at 12:05 amOmg, I have a couple of friends like that and I’m thankful that we don’t live in the same state and I can keep them at arm’s length.
Liz Mays
October 26, 2017 at 1:28 amI definitely have friends and family that need to be clued in on every last detail of my life like that. It sounds like she cares about you though!
Marysa
October 26, 2017 at 2:47 amYou should do what is best for you and your family. So maybe keep some space in your relationship with her if you feel she is toxic. I don’t have a lot of time for people that are inconsiderate and frustrating. Perhaps she has a lot of time on her hands and can’t relate to being overwhelmed.
Jen Temcio
October 26, 2017 at 2:35 pmYou will be cutting ties now that this is public! Ha Ha… congrats on your big project. That sounds fun and promising.
Chubskulit Rose
October 26, 2017 at 5:25 pmAssociate a.k.a sometimes called annoying peeps in your life. I have some of those too.
Anosa
October 26, 2017 at 5:35 pmFor now my motto is to be good to those who are good to you and still, be kind and good for those who are not the same. In our generation (25) likes or comment seems to long.
Amanda
October 27, 2017 at 3:06 amI have finally learned how to get toxic people out of my life and I have never been happier. It sounds like you need to kick that “associate” to the curb.
Dogvills
October 27, 2017 at 9:12 amLooks a like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I would be very cautious in dealing with a person like that. I mean, it is still up to you, but if I were in your shoes, I would cut ties with her.
Reginia Cordell
October 27, 2017 at 5:38 pmI’d keep her around and have a scripped conversation for her. I would be pleasant and have a list of three goodies to share with her each time. She’s a good person to have in the wings.
Cherri Megasko
October 28, 2017 at 2:37 pmI hate talking on the phone… to anyone. And I tell everyone that. I love seeing them in person but other than that we email or text. It’s much easier to end a conversation that way.