It’s hard raising a son as a single mother. I am a firm believer that a women can’t raise a man. I’m sorry we can do the best we can but they still need someone from the male side to help guide them and teach them their ways. I can only do but so much. I am not a man nor do I think like one and trust me….they are some weird aliens…..I mean humans *side eye*. As a single mother I want to make sure that I don’t baby my son and I also want to make sure that he does not grow up being a boy that is spoiled rotten and can’t do for himself. You know the kind……the ones where the moms think that their sons are their boyfriends. Or the moms who think no women is good for their sweet precious boy. I am not that mother!
My husband was raised by a single mom and he lacked a lot of things like opening the doors for me. It’s something that either men have or they don’t. My husband never opened the doors for me and I use to get on him about it but I realized that when they aren’t raised that way it’s hard for them to act on things that we want them to do. As women we have to take in account that some of our men aren’t raised with the standards we want. We have to meet them where they are and that’s hard to do when we want what we want. One of the things that I teach my son to do is to open doors for ladies. I make him open the door for me and he has practiced that since he was about 6 years old. He is now 11 and he opens the door all the time. He does it because I taught him and he gets extra points with the ladies when he does. Everyone always tells me that he is a sweet young man and that I taught him well. Yassss I take full credit for that.
Next I wanna teach my son how to cook. He has to know basic skills when it comes to feeding himself. He knows that mom can cook but once he gets put out (age 18 but he can stay til 21….after 21…I don’t know where he is going but he can’t stay with me) he will have to know how to not burn down my home. I let him cook for the first time last year. He made oatmeal….forgot to put the water in the oatmeal. I was thankfully sleeping on the couch and next thing I know my smoke alarms were going off and my microwave had smoke coming from it….I got up in a state of confusion because first of all he didn’t ask me to cook anything and second of all why is there smoke coming from the microwave and the boy was just sitting at the counter on his cell phone…like was I dreaming or did he not see the smoke. I rushed to the mircrowave and took out the burnt oatmeal….he finally got up and said oh mom I tried to cook myself something how did I do. Oh I don’t know…let me check my burnt smelling house. Why didn’t you put the water in the oatmeal…he said he thought that you cook it first then put the water………OMG. After that I had to teach him some basics about cooking. He is not allowed to touch my microwave or any electrical devices anymore without an adult home. After a year of teaching him how to cook basics he can now fix grilled cheese, salmon, and eggo waffles on his own. I think he knows enough to get by….he still can’t quite get a handle on that oatmeal though……I do teach him how to grate cheese and stuff as long as he doesn’t eat it in the process
So after he cooks he has to learn how to wash dishes…by hand. My kids are spoiled because we have a dishwasher. I do not put up the dishes out of the dishwasher that’s their job. I normally give it to my son to do because my daughter is still kind of short and can’t reach things. Over the past couple of months I have had him actually learning how to wash dishes by hand because what if his diswasher breaks and he has to wash stuff and he is a broke boy who has no income living with other roomates…he gotta learn how to wash them up. I had him washing my pots and some forks and spoons. He acted like he didn’t want to touch the sponge saying it was nasty…..so were those diapers I changed when you were little but did I leave them on you….no I went in with a cover on my nose and changed you and you still peed in my face….but that’s besides the point….wash the damn dishes
Other things I am teaching him to do…
- Take the trash out which he has to do on trash night for the next morning and he has to take the trash can back up the hill to the back of the house
- Sweep out the garage every Sunday. My hubs use to do that and I want him to carry on the tradition
- Make up his bed. Look I hate making up my own bed but it teaches him something….what that something is I don’t know but he needs to learn it lol
- Vacuum. Not only his room but all rooms
- Sweep and mop the kitchen. This is actually his chore every single night. My daughter does morning time cleanup and he is responsible for closing the night out
- Folding clothes…..he doesn’t do a good job but he will work at it and learn how to at least manage to fold
- Respect women. He will not put his hands on any women I don’t care what they do to him. Tell me or a teacher and when he gets older learn how to walk away
One of the things I am learning how to let him do is figure things out on his own. I bought a humidifier for his room and I gave him the box and the directions. I told him to figure it out. I didn’t help him nor did I sit and see what he did. He has to learn how to do things on his own first before I jump in and try to save the day. There are a lot of men who don’t know how to fix simple stuff and my son won’t be that man. Sometimes he cries and wants to give up but I tell him to find it on youtube or read the directions. Nothing is to hard if you can figure out how to play video games and learn how to operate a computer. I make sure that my son hangs around men as much as he can. Men I can trust who will teach him good stuff. He has already had the birds and the bees convo with one of my hubs friends so he is good to go in that department. I didn’t ask what they talked about nor do I care to know because I trust that he told him about it in the man way. My son needs to be around strong men and I am still looking for a few good men to take him under their wings until I do I will do my best. I will also make sure my son goes to sporting events and involve him in boy activities for him to learn and grow.
Are you raising a male on your own? Any tips to give me? I am doing an okay job I hope lol