I had to take a second to think about some things over the course of the past few weeks. When you start reevaluating your life you start to see areas of where you failed. You start to see hmmmm If I had done this then maybe this would have happened. If you had done that then maybe that would have happened. We all fail at something in our lives and we don’t like to admit it. When marriages fall apart we are quick to blame the other women but did you look at what you did in your marriage that may have drove him out. It could be flipped….women cheat to and when that other man comes in….what did you do to drive her to that. One of the questions I asked a guy friend the other day is what did you do to drive her crazy? You are having problems in your marriage and she wasn’t like that when you married her unless you marry what you have been comfortable in. I was watching Iyanla fix my life (the latest with Neffee) and saw dysfunction…..when we are use to something we marry it. When we are use to dysfunction we carry it with us like bags and we don’t unpack it. We carry that same baggage into business and throughout life. So let’s take a look at some scenarios of why people may fail at business and life…..
You have the business owner who can’t catch a break. Every time you look she is trying to sell sell sell. When I see someone trying to sell so bad I think one of two things…..they don’t have customers which means their products aren’t that good or they need money to live. Have you ever seen someone who sells you something or posts up on FB about what they are selling at least 4 times a week? You wonder hmmmmmmm why isn’t their product moving. Is it because they don’t get out and network, where is their repeat customers, does their product look appealing. These are questions you have to ask yourself when you are trying to sell stuff. Would you buy your own products? Be real and stop playing the victim. Stop trying to pop your link in various FB groups trying to get eyes on your website or your page when you know good and well your stuff isn’t sellable.
The person who doesn’t have any friends. Why don’t you have any friends? Not one? When people don’t have one or two good friends I find a problem in that. That means something is wrong with you. Maybe it’s how you speak to people, maybe it’s because you’ve been hurt so much that you don’t bother to let others in. When I see people with 0 friends I run……that means they need to take some stock into what they do and bring to the table.
The person who is all over the place. You know the ones…..they start school then quit, they start another business then quit, they quit at everything. I often wonder why then when you look at their background you can kind of see. They never finish anything because they give up. Most of the time these people are perfectionists they want things to be perfect when in fact no one is perfect but God and when they realize that they have to let some of that control go, they get scared and quit. Or maybe it’s because they never achieved anything as a young child and they see this as a pattern of well at least I started that’s more than others. It’s just not working for me so I have to quit and move on. Or maybe no one around them succeeded and people who raised them quit at everything….
The person who does what everyone else does. They have no original idea…they follow everyone else and think they can make it. They follow and do what others do in relationships, business, and life. They have no mind of their own and wonder why they can’t succeed. They see the grass and want the same but God blesses the child that has their own. Have your own idea and make it work for you. Yes there are 3 places to buy burgers at, but each one does things different. When you look at Wendy’s, Mcdonalds, and Burger King you see some difference. They all sell burgers but which one would you go to first? Which one of these places do you hate? Which one takes marketing to a new level?
The person who has fear of stepping out of their comfort zone. This is me! I fear stepping out of my comfort zone because I like to know whats going on. I like to have things planned out….I like to have some control. I hate when things aren’t in my control. It’s one of the reasons I don’t fly….I like to control things. It’s bad and it keeps me from succeeding in business and in life. If I can ever step out of my bubble….I can see what good things lie on the other side.
The person who doesn’t unpack baggage from the past. Do you know that some of us are our mothers? The people who we don’t want to be like but we are them in some form or fashion. Our mothers are in relationship after relationship and then we follow the same pattern and still look at our mothers as if they are crazy when we in fact are doing the same thing. Our parents never showed us love so we don’t know how to recognize it when we see it and we don’t know how to give it back. We grow up in drama and then marry someone who brings nothing but drama to our lives. You see the pattern here…….we are failing.
Over the past weeks I have been doing some soul searching in my life. Looking at past mistakes, things I could have done better, things I could have not done at all. It’s funny as I approach my late 30’s I am seeing things from a different perspective. I have been living in my thoughts and letting the past creep up on me. I am succeeding in business but could I be doing better? Am I 100% happy or just halfway there? What’s missing? I don’t want to go into my 40’s regretting anything else in my life so I want to start doing things differently. I fail because of the baggage I haven’t unpacked. I fail because I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone. I am determined to take all the past mistakes and redo them for the future so that I don’t fail at anything else. I might falter but I won’t fail.
Why do you some people fail at business and life? Would love to hear your thoughts!