It's Life It's Parenting

Parenting for the new generation

April 27, 2016

I grew up in the early 80’s. My mother was very very strict. Basically I got my ass whipped. I remember talking back to my mom quite a few times and one time got back hand slapped. Now I know many parents of today would call that child abuse or whatever but back then that is how I was raised. My mom had belts, shoes, and I had to go outside to get some sticks off a tree many times. I wasn’t a bad child I was just very smart on my mouth and told people off from a young age including teachers. My mom constantly stayed at the school because I cussed out a teacher. I stopped getting my butt beat at around the age of 12. My mom started to hand out punishments…which for me meant not taking me to the library. We only had one tv and my mom didn’t have cable so TV wasn’t what was important to me. She took away things that I loved which today…..seems to be the new way to parent. My mom was fair but she was strict. I feared her and I think that’s part of the problem these days….these kids don’t fear authority. I may have cussed out teachers but I was scared as hell of my mom. Welcome to the new generation of parents…its different…. and while I don’t back hand slap my children I still take some of those pass punishments and apply them today.

Parenting Lesson 1 – I am not your friend. I don’t know why some parents think that they can be friends with their kids. I am and will always be your parent. Now as you get to be an adult we can have adult conversations but yeah….at the end of the day I am not up for being one of your friends. I am up for telling you the truth about yourself and telling you what I have been through. It’s up to you to learn the ways of the world after I have taught you what I know. I am not your friend.

Parenting Lesson 2 – Electronics is the new punishment. These days you don’t have to spank your kids or send them to time out. Just change the password or take their electronics away. That’s punishment enough. These kids will cry something awful if you take away their phone. My son was acting up last week so I took away his xbox you would have thought I was killing him the way he wailed and cried and fell out. He is almost 10…and he was acting like he lost his damn mind. So I took the xbox away for 2 weeks I am not the one.

Parenting Lesson 3 – Stranger danger is online. No longer do we have to worry about people grabbing our kids off of street corners….people are grabbing them right online and the kids are giving away their info. No longer do kidnappers have to find out things the kids willingly give up info. My son plays his xbox with strangers online. When we moved he told someone that we moved 10 minutes up the street. I had to go in that room and reprimand him. Don’t tell people where we live. I explained this to him many times but I guess it went out one ear and into the other. They think it’s innocent but I don’t think it is. I don’t know these people and neither do you. We have to be extra careful in this new generation of raising kids because online is a beast. Bullying is now done online too by adults and kids..but that’s a topic for another day.

I am not a new age parent or a parent that goes by the book. I am kind of like that child I mentioned above the rude one who did my own thing. I never followed the rules of parenting.

  • Breastfeeding is what everyone said you should do…I did it for one child didn’t do it for the other …..so what.
  • When you have new babies everyone is suppose to wash their hands and stuff……chile please get this child cause I am tired…they will get germs anyway might as well start early
  • Time out…..I never did time out….never tried it to have an opinion one way or the other.
  • Yes I popped my kids when they were little but I liked pinching better seem to get the job done more effectively especially in the store
  • What’s the rule for putting kids on their stomach vs. their back? I don’t even know…none of my kids slept on their back so in order to get rest I had to put them on their stomach. I prayed and kept it moving!
  • My kids slept in the bed with me because again….I had to get rest. I didn’t even buy a crib for the second child why bother. I ended up just putting hubs out of the bed and the baby and I took over. I am a light sleeper so if you sleep hard maybe that might not be a good idea

However your raise your kids is your business. Of course we are in the new age of parenting where everyone has an opinion about how to raise your kids. Whose the parent? You are…..do what you want as long as you aren’t harming the child in any way raise your kids how you see fit. None of these rules are right or wrong it’s whatever fits your family.

Parenting for the new generation

  • Reply
    Robin Masshole Mommy
    April 27, 2016 at 9:18 am

    I formula fed both of my kids despite LOTS of flack from just about everyone under the sun and you know what, they are just fine. Some people need to stop being so judgy.

  • Reply
    Shirley Wood
    April 27, 2016 at 11:48 am

    I thought there for second you were describing me and my Mom! As the youngest and only girl, I was a little mouthy growing up. Apparently, I still am to some degree. Today those children are called “strong willed.” Nothing is the same in our society.
    I’m so proud of my daughter who is a mother to 5 and doesn’t care about what society dictates about parenting. I think she and my son-in-law are doing a great job raising my grandchildren. Removing their xbox always gets results!

  • Reply
    Bella B (xoxoBella)
    April 27, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    I am no where near having a family, but I bet it is full of tough decisions every day. I think as long as you are there and supportive, the rest doesn’t matter so much.

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    April 27, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    I breast fed and formula fed and the breast fed child had more ear infections that the formula fed one – go figure. ๐Ÿ™‚ I grew up getting my butt spanked (not too hard) and my mom would “break a switch.” It must have done a little bit of good because I think I turned out pretty good.

    Once, in middle school, my teacher talked to my mom about my smart mouth and told my mom that I needed prayer. My mom told her I needed a paddle on my behind.

  • Reply
    Sarah Bailey
    April 27, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    It is scary how much the world has changed in a short amount of time. These sound like some great tips. x

  • Reply
    April 27, 2016 at 6:33 pm

    I needed this today! I have been struggling with a ODD teenager, a bully at work (thank heavens this is her last week) and since I am working a contract job away from home, the need to find a new job. Thank you for being so blunt, you spell out some real truths that no many would say! You give me confidence to keep on going!

  • Reply
    Tori Gabriel
    April 27, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    Times really have changed. I was smacked as a child. One time I swore and my Mum actually washed my mouth out with soap. I can still remember the panic when I swallowed and there was a bubble in the back of my throat and I couldn’t breathe. Today this would be child abuse. Back then it was just how it was done.

  • Reply
    Liz Mays
    April 27, 2016 at 8:45 pm

    Times change really quickly and it’s hard to keep adjusting. Parenting now is very different than parenting just a few years ago.

  • Reply
    April 28, 2016 at 1:31 am

    People are so judgy and need to mind their business. My oldest is almost 13 and starting to get lippy and of course people have something to say – I just look at them and ask if they remember being 13….

  • Reply
    April 28, 2016 at 1:42 am

    Great advice! Definitely a different time today than it was in the 80s. Adaption is key!

  • Reply
    April 28, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    I can’t believe how much some parents let their kids get away with these days. I had very strict parents and although I thought it was rough at the time, I’m glad they were.

  • Reply
    April 28, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    Parenting certainly has changed! I remember the fear of God being put into me for acting up as a kid, lol! I tend to raise my kids in a more old fashioned manner.

  • Reply
    Lorelai @ Life With Lorelai
    April 28, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    I received lots of comments, dirty looks, and even been yelled at over the years about teaching my very thin daughter about reading nutritional labels on food products in the the stores. It bothered me at first, and my daughter wondered why these people were so mean to me. I learned to shake it off, and sometimes even spouted off back at them. I came to realize that what you are seeing, may not be everything. It certainly wasn’t with us. Did these people know my daughters very severe medical issues? No. Did they know that if she eats fats she could die? No.

    The point is, the parent usually knows what is best for their child. Let them be the parent and don’t interfere. It may not be how you would handle a situation, but it is what fits or works for their family.

    Life With Lorelai

  • Reply
    April 28, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    I love reading your blog posts, it’s real and personal, and the topics are always interesting! Love this topic in particular… it’s such a personal/ touchy subject… it’s crazy how times change, and the way people change how they go about doing things… what would it be like if times stayed the same and people still used the same methods from generation to generation? and is one way better than the other? lots of questions, and who really has the right answer?!

  • Reply
    April 29, 2016 at 12:07 am

    I breastfed my one and only child and if I ever have another one I honestly don’t think I would have the strength to do it again! Different things work for different children and parents, I never judge, I can’t figure out why it became socially acceptable to pick apart other’s parenting, huge dislike!

  • Reply
    Bites for Babies
    April 29, 2016 at 1:11 am

    Parenting is so different nowadays…and as a teacher I can see exactly how it’s changed over the years! Strict parents are a dime a dozen ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Reply
    Dina Demarest
    May 1, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    It is so true that electronics are the new punishment. I remember punishments from when I was a child and they would definitely be “child abuse” of today. I knew right from wrong afterwards though and the parenting style made me stick to the straight and narrow.

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