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I’m a Bad Mom

October 30, 2017


I went to go see Bad Moms 2 the other day and it was amazing. More about the movie later but….I wanted to make a confession today. I, Kita Bryant, am a bad mom. Let me tell you why…..

My kids are 11 and 8 and I thought for sure they would know that there is no Santa by now. I was thinking that someone should have told them. Their friends don’t talk? I felt that my 11 year old would know and maybe he kept it from my daughter to spear her. I was tired of pretending so I went on and let them know last week that there was no Santa….I’m Santa. My son was more devastated than the girl….I was shocked! I had to tell them though. My daughter said…Mom, you dream killer you have ruined Christmas forever (she is dramatic). My son said…but mom how did you get the gifts from one state to the other last year because I didn’t see any gifts in our luggage (we went out of town for Christmas last year and I hid them good) He had a lot of questions….

Mom How did you mail the letters off to Santa and how did we get mail back from Santa (Son your dad worked at the post office he worked miracles)

Santa got us something we wanted but didn’t tell you about (I know how to listen in on conversations with friends)

They asked about 5 more questions and then I had enough…..

My Gawd I can’t with the questions gotdammit. Just know that there is no Santa and please don’t tell your friends who believe.

Does it make me a bad mother that I went on and told them….I thought so. I found out when I was 8 and got up in the middle of the night to use the potty and saw my mom wrapping gifts. I stood on the steps and saw her in the kitchen and told my mom you liar….you lied to me. My mom said chile bye take your ass back to bed before nothing is under this tree. Those were her exact words! So what else makes me a bad mom……..

I throw away crafts……Look I don’t have time for all the crafts my daughter brings in this house. I love them and thinks she does a good job but I can’t keep them. I tell her to pick one I will let it stay on my fridge for a week and then it has to go on a weekly basis. I am not a hoarder and I can’t keep all these coloring pages and endless amounts of stuff around my office.

I take all of the electronics away for the weekend if they fail 2 grades……so we have a rule around here. I don’t accept anything less than a C…I prefer A’s and B’s but I will take a C. The rules are if you fail something that week you get shut down on Friday. So anything below a C….you can’t use any electronics on that Friday. If you get another failing grade that week you are shut down for the entire weekend. My kids thinks that this is the meanest thing to do. I feel like it’s the best thing to do. I am a stickler for grades and I don’t want it slipping away. Electronics are a privilege and if you want to use my electricity and things I pay for I need something in return. It’s almost like the government….you know how they just take taxes. I just take privileges….and sing while I am carrying things in my room and putting them in locked boxes. I mean I do give them a chance to only fail one grade……I’m still being kind of nice

We only eat desserts on the weekend…my son and I are fat as hell. Yes I said it. He is 11 and weighs over 100lbs it’s my fault because I keep snacks and goodies around my house which he goes and steals all the time. I have decided to put a cap on us (myself included) to only eat dessert on the weekend. Friday – Sunday is the only day we can eat something sweet. Weekdays….no sweets at all. The first week I cried at my rules because the oreos were just staring at me but I didn’t give in (ok I lied I had 2 or 3). I am trying but I refuse to break anymore.

I make them sign up for things they don’t want to sign up for… Kumon, Dance, etc. Kumon is to help keep that brain active and I know my son hates it but I love it. Just think how much smarter you will be if you are in things that keep your brain youthful and make you think beyond video games. My daughter didn’t want to do Dance at first but she finally got with the program and now she loves it. She says its hard but guess what so is life…..get use to it. I’m a bad mom that I want my children well rounded in things. I know they might not like it but at least do it for a year, learn how to network and make new friends, and learn something new.

I make them fold clothes and clean their rooms…..this is probably the worse thing I can do as a mom. My son even told me….Mom you are so mean to make us clean up our rooms and make our beds…you don’t even make your bed up. You damn right I don’t but guess what….I’m the adult I don’t have to do it (and then I stuck my tongue out and acted petty). You will make your bed every morning…it teaches you something. I don’t know what it teaches you so don’t ask but you will do it because I said so. I know I’m suppose to lead by example but eff that. You do as I say do, not as I do….SHAT.

Other things that make me a bad mom

  • I don’t share stuff that I like with them, I hide them all the time
  • I don’t buy them fancy shoes like Jordans because Jordans are expensive and you are a child that outgrows your shoes every few months
  • I give them nasty meds because I don’t want them to get sick and they must take castor oil every now and then
  • I make them clean my kitchen every single day (one does mornings the other does nights)
  • They have to fetch me the remote which is normally within a feet of me because I’m to lazy to get up

Now let’s talk about this movie! I loved the first Bad moms and this one was even funnier. I had tears coming out of my eyes….like real tears. I have never laughed so much in my life. My favorite part was probably the dancing part, or maybe it was the grandma always giving the kids gifts, or was it the scene at the mall where they stole a Christmas tree, it was probably the part where the moms were in church cussing lol. You gotta go see this movie!

The moms need their own movie after this because OMG. Make sure you go see it on November 1st. It’s a must see and go see it with your mom if she isn’t alive make it a girls night out.

I was given tickets to see the movie before it came out. All opinions are my own.

  • Reply
    robin rue
    October 30, 2017 at 11:56 am

    My oldest son was almost 12 before he found out there was no santa. It was a sad day, but he said that kids didn’t really talk about that stuff? I was 9 when I found out.

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    October 30, 2017 at 11:59 am

    When it came to Santa, I just let my kids figure it out on their own, but then again, I never put a lot of emphasis on Santa. I always taught them the real reason we celebrate Christmas. But Santa did bring most of the gifts. It’s a tough one for sure and there’s no right or wrong way to tell them the truth.

  • Reply
    Amber Myers
    October 30, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    I can’t wait to see this movie! I know I’ll laugh.

    I really should give my kids more chores. The fact that they don’t have many probably makes me a bad mom. Oops. I used to sign them up for things they didn’t like but the whining isn’t worth it anymore. But I would sign them up for Kumon!

    And I so hide my chocolate from my kids 😉

  • Reply
    Jenn @ EngineerMommy
    October 30, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    This sounds like such a fun movie. I would definitely love to check this out with my other mom friends. As moms, it’s hard to balance keeping the kids happy and making responsible decisions that make sense!

  • Reply
    Tomi C
    October 30, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    OMG, I’m a bad mom too. I dare not confess all of my bad mom misdoings but I will confess that my kids have yet to receive any of the Reese’s Cups at Halloween because I ate them ALL… every single one, every single year. Glad to be among fellow “bad moms” and I can’t wait to see the movie this weekend.

  • Reply
    October 30, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    After reading this I think we are all bad moms. Which makes us not bad moms at all. The kids will forgive you and you can wait and see how they handle their kids. Being a grandmother is the best role. No pressure, parents always get to be the bad guys.

  • Reply
    October 30, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    I totally forgot that I was still doing the Santa thing until my kids told me he wanted a million things and I whipped my head around and asked WHO DO YOU THINK IS GETTING YOU ALL OF THAT?! He calmly said “Santa.” Welp.

  • Reply
    October 30, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    Looks like a cute movie! I never told my kids there wad a Santa. They tried to convince me that there was and I said, “Cool. I won’t shop this year, and you can wait on Santa. Let me know what you wanna do.” They opted to let me do the Christmas shopping. Lol!

  • Reply
    October 30, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    This is the first I’m hearing of this movie and I can’t wait to see it! My parents stopped playing Santa when I was about 4 lmao, but I never really believed in him, I was that weird kid that questioned the logic behind everything!

  • Reply
    October 30, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    I loved reading this! I loved the original Bad Moms movie so I cannot wait to see this one. Santa is such a fun tradition – I think it’s totally different for every kid when they find out. But hey, nothing wrong with always “believing” right?! 😉

  • Reply
    October 31, 2017 at 12:06 am

    Never did the Santa thing or any other imaginary characters..When my son was around 6-7 we used to eat ice cream for breakfast on the weekends he loved it of course. He says he still remembers it. Looks like a funny movie I behind I didn’t see the first one yet 😬

  • Reply
    Claudia Krusch
    October 31, 2017 at 12:11 am

    I am so excited to go see Bad Mom’s 2. A bunch of us are going to girls night. The first movie was hilarious.

  • Reply
    October 31, 2017 at 12:45 am

    You are hilarious. No, you are not a bad mom because some of the things you mentioned, my own mom did with us. When I have my kids, I will do the same. Tough love is the best love.

  • Reply
    October 31, 2017 at 1:11 am

    Omg I love this post! No you are not a bad mom. You provide discipline and structure so they know who is the child and who is the parent. I’m taking notes!

  • Reply
    Liz Mays
    October 31, 2017 at 1:18 am

    Oh no! Your Christmases should still be fun. I can’t remember when my kids started asking questions. I actually used to sign my kids up for various things too. I just wanted them to find their interests!

  • Reply
    October 31, 2017 at 1:55 am

    It doesn’t make you a bad mom to have rules! I think you are doing a great job. If you don’t have good rules in place, then things start to spiral out of control. I saw a screening too of A Bad Moms Christmas, it was awesome!

  • Reply
    October 31, 2017 at 3:51 am

    If I was a Mom I would be a Bad Mom too! I freaking LOVE that movie and can’t wait for the second one!!

  • Reply
    Chubskulit Rose
    October 31, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    I have seen the first movie and thought it was funny. I would like to see the second one.

  • Reply
    Elle (CleverlyChanging)
    October 31, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    The cast is hilarious. Many of the tips you shared will keep you sane and your house tidy. You’re not a bad mom just a no-nonsense mom. 😃

  • Reply
    Rosemary Palmer
    October 31, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    There are bad moms, then there are BAD moms. In this world of social media, it’s easy to look at others who act they live in a perfect world. Well, most aren’t. To some what might make someone a bad mom, to others, it makes a good mom.

  • Reply
    October 31, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Funny! My kids know there is no Santa. I forgot how they knew. But they know. And at 11, yeah I think I knew too. Kudos to the weekend sweets, we gotta treat ourselves sometimes. I want to see Bad Moms 2. The first one was good, so with your recommendation – it’s on!

  • Reply
    My Teen Guide
    October 31, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    Well, then count me in as a bad mom too. I am very strict when it comes to academics. My kids think it is unreasonable for me to ask them to bring home good grades. They just don’t understand. I told them that they will only have to work hard at school for two decades. If they don’t, they will have 5 decades of hardship. Better to suffer now than for the rest of their life.

  • Reply
    Sandy N Vyjay
    October 31, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    You may look like a bad mom. But the kids are lucky to have you. I am sure they will soon realize that whatever you do has only one objective and that is their well being.

  • Reply
    November 1, 2017 at 12:58 am

    I went to see Bad Moms the other night as well and it was HILARIOUS! You are not a Bad Mom those things are good that you do to help your children know what they need to be working on and what can easily be taken away from them! Mine are younger than yours but I may implement some of these in a couple of years.

  • Reply
    Lori Vachon
    November 1, 2017 at 1:29 am

    Oh, I think we’re all Bad Moms in our own ways. Heck if throwing away 67,894 crafty items my kids have made through the years makes me bad…I’ll gladly take the title. One can only keep so many glittery pinecones! 🙂

  • Reply
    Brandi H
    November 1, 2017 at 2:55 am

    Oh the fun talk about Santa! I can’t wait to see this movie with my friends. It looks hilarious.

  • Reply
    EG III
    November 1, 2017 at 3:37 am

    I haven’t seen the movie but I will have to check it out. Everything you mentioned makes a good point. I am not looking forward to having the Santa talk with my daughter when the time comes.

  • Reply
    November 1, 2017 at 11:19 am

    Aww that’s so cute that they still believed in Santa! I kind of always knew that my parents were Santa, but it was fun to play around with it and still pretend like I believed. Also I think it’s great that you have them only eat sweets on the weekends. Bad Moms seems like a hilarious movie, I definitely want to see it, I need to watch the first one before the movie comes out!

  • Reply
    Nanekia Ansari
    November 1, 2017 at 11:34 am

    I’m a BAD MOM! And I’m totally cool with it. All my children including the 4 year old know that I am the gift giver. I have a lot of spacing 20, 13, & 4 so I’ve been exhausted of keeping up that lie for two long. We can start a BAD MOMS support group if you need, not bring your own snack not to share. Loved this!

  • Reply
    valmg @ Mom Knows It All
    November 1, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    I don’t think most, if any, of the things you mentioned make you a bad mother. Everyone is entitled to make their own parenting decisions based upon their beliefs.

  • Reply
    November 1, 2017 at 1:02 pm

    Im sure the secret is out that all moms have bad mom tendencies because…well being human. Thanks for highlighting some of you mom imperfections (not really bad) and I actually cant wait to see Bad Moms 2!

  • Reply
    Tiffany H.
    November 2, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    LOL, I don’t remember when I realized there was no Santa, but I guess I wasn’t to traumatized by the event since I can’t recall. All those things that you mentioned make you an excellent mom. They have to learn how to clean you wont always be around, they should have consequence for bad grades, the dessert things is a great idea, I limit myself to only on Sundays.

  • Reply
    November 5, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    I saw the first movie. It was pretty good. I would like to see this new one.

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