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It's Life

How I deal with people I don’t like

May 31, 2017

I don’t hate many things. I hate cancer! I hate most veggies, I hate exercising, I hate overly talkative people. I don’t like a lot of people but I don’t hate them. In business and in life you will come across people you simply don’t like. Trust your gut because if your gut tells you something about them then trust your gut…it’s your warning sign. There are many reasons I may not like someone. They could be someone who is always negative, someone who has no get up and go, someone who remains the same day after day, someone who thinks the world revolves around them, etc. There are various reasons you may not like someone from the way they dress, the way they talk to you, the way they just carry themselves. Many of us judge people by the way they look and nothing is wrong with that everyone has a reason that they don’t like a certain person. It could even be something they did to you that may not resonate with them but it makes you wonder about them. So how do I deal with people I don’t like…oh let me count the ways lol

Accept that you won’t like everyone – It’s no need to act like you love everyone. It’s okay to say look I just don’t like such and such. Accept that and be done with it. Whatever your reasoning is for you. No one has to know it’s for you to know and for you to live with

Keep your emotions in check – A toxic person can drive you crazy. They are always the negative ones. Some of them always have an opinion too. You can tell a toxic person by the company they keep. You have the power of your emotions don’t let them drive you crazy. I have had to learn this the hard way but I am getting older so I am able to deal with it.

Don’t take it personally – My late husbands family doesn’t like me. They say that I am bougie….I don’t take it personally. Why? Because I know who I am and unfortunately they don’t. When people don’t take the time to get to know you they will assume things about you. This can go on both sides because I sometimes make assumptions on people although I like to make sure I give them the benefit of the doubt. My assumptions are usually on point and I have only been wrong a few times in my life. I never take what others say about me personally because at the end of the day they don’t know me.

Keep a poker face – Don’t let them see you sweat. Sometimes though….your face says it all lol. I know some folks who can tell you so many things just by the expression on their face. Try to keep your smile in tact and don’t attack them. I do business with people who don’t have the same beliefs as I do. I may not like their beliefs but I make sure I am kind and smile despite what I don’t like. A guy came to me a few weeks back to help him work on his social media page. He said to me I am gay just so you know….I kept a poker face. I am not sleeping with you so what you do in your personal time is on you. Thanks for letting me know! Inside I was like OMG he so fine and he is gay what a waste of a man lol

Don’t stoop to their level – This is very hard to do! There is someone who I don’t like that follows me on all social media and follows everything I do. I low-key wait for her to do everything I do and I want to cuss her out so badly but I take the high road. I don’t need to cuss them out and as they say, imitation is a form of flattery. I just keep doing what I do because at the end of the day what’s for you will be for you and no one can take that away!

Calmly express your feelings – I can’t do this that well yet lol. I will go off but I am trying to express my feelings nicely. Most days I just cut people off with out an explanation but I understand some people need to have an explanation. If they want one I try to give them one but don’t you hate when you tell people the truth about why you don’t want to be around them and they still find another way to give you what they think. I told someone I didn’t want to be around them because I didn’t like how they always played the victim and blamed everyone but themselves for things and she said I didn’t want to be around her because I was jealous of her life. Sweetie what life…let me not go there but anywhoo yeah she told me the reason why I didn’t want her around and I had to calmly express my reasons and she didn’t want to hear that so …I just bowed out nicely…see I’m learning

Pick your battles – Not every argument has to be attended. Pick the right ones and learn when to let go of the wrong ones. I needed to learn this in marriage and sadly when I realized this it was when my husband passed away. We had a lot of arguments that were not worth it. There were some days I didn’t like him but I always loved him but some days….he got on my nerves with is ideas or ways of doing things that came about as we got older and I was like this mug…..I argued with him every step when I realize that I didn’t have to attend all of them. I needed to learn when to walk away and let him have it.

Give yourself some time and space – Sometimes you just need a break from people. It’s why I take a non crank day once a week to think about things that went on that week. See what I can fix and what I can let go and learn how to move on.Disconnect from people emotionally, and physically separate yourself from situations you know will likely lead to negative interactions.

Get a support system – You need a variety of people to support you. Don’t always go with yes people either. Have some people around you who will tell you when you are wrong and give a different perspective of how you are handling things. Back in high school I had my girls who will go to toe with me when we didn’t like someone. These days I take a more grown women approach and have my girls tell me it’s okay I will beat the heffa lol. Honestly though get some good friends who will give you real opinions.

Communicate in a way that’s comfortable for you – Let’s go back to my husbands sister. We don’t like each other…that’s nothing new. We do however communicate only through texts. It’s our way of still keeping in touch without a phone conversation. This works for us. Sometimes you are in situations where you have to speak to people you don’t like…figure out the best way to communicate with them. Maybe a coworker that gets on your nerves…only speak to them through email. Maybe it’s a new boo that you aren’t sure about yet….give them a google voice number before you give them your real number just in case

Do what makes you happy because it’s your road and your walk. Again you will come across people you don’t like a lot of times and you don’t have to have them in your life and if you do choose how you go about dealing with them. Remember people don’t like you either so it’s a two way street. People have said they don’t like me because I talk to much or I don’t talk enough. They don’t like that I stay to myself and I am to much of a mystery…whatever lol. Know who you are and the real ones who will always love you will always be around.

How do you deal with people you don’t like?

 

  • Reply
    Gina
    May 31, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    In the work environment, I tend to just be cordial towards people I know I don’t get along with. In my personal life, I avoid them. No need for added stress.

  • Reply
    MJ
    June 1, 2017 at 11:26 am

    Me? If I really don’t like someone, I don’t deal with them at all. If someone just annoys me but I like them overall then I take the good with the annoying. LOL

  • Reply
    Marsha
    June 1, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    When I encounter people I don’t like, for whatever reason, I try to limit my contact with them. I also practice some of the points that you made. But when I have to be in a room with them, I’m just cordial and say only what’s necessary.

  • Reply
    Tione
    June 2, 2017 at 1:35 am

    I try to be the nicest when I see people that I don’t like and I avoid them at every measure.

  • Reply
    Bernetta
    June 2, 2017 at 3:03 am

    This is so true especially when dealing in a work/corporate setting. It possible to not care for half the people in the office. But like you said, you keep your poker face and keep it moving.

  • Reply
    Natasha
    June 2, 2017 at 3:43 am

    I’m of the “you can read my face” camp, and I know it. I’m trying to get better with having cordial interactions with folks that I don’t care for, but it’s proving to be a lesson in patience and grace. One that I have to practice DAILY. Even when all I’m doing is looking at my computer screen.

  • Reply
    Styled By OmiOmy
    June 2, 2017 at 7:06 am

    It’s so true, every argument does not require my attendance, response, or energy. I love being optimistic and who really has time focusing on the negativity from dripping from others.

  • Reply
    Styled By OmiOmy
    June 2, 2017 at 7:09 am

    It’s so true, not every argument requires my attendance, energy, or emotional space. I love having an optimistic outlook on life and time spent on the negativity of others is time wasted.

  • Reply
    Elle (CleverlyChanging)
    June 2, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    I struggle with every one of the things you mentioned. Especially the poker face. I know, I’ve got to learn how to do better.

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    June 2, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    I’ve had plenty experience in this area. I work in an office environment and it takes all kind of people to make it work. I could do without a lot of them. However, I don’t have to like them and they don’t have to like me. Respect though is non-negotiable. I try to use a porker face and my manners and keep it moving.

  • Reply
    Daria
    June 2, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    This advice is right on the money. I’ve incorporated the mindset of don’t take it personal. Many times their behavior is not about you but about them. Lordt, it took me a long time to get to that mindset. So, now I just keep it moving and don’t sweat it.

  • Reply
    LaQuisha
    June 5, 2017 at 9:19 am

    The poker face is so important. I don’t spend hardly any time around people I don’t like.

  • Reply
    PamG
    September 22, 2017 at 12:35 am

    Excellent advice! I always keep in Mind: taking insult requires me telling myself I’m insulted. I simply refuse. Keeps me from adopting another’s problem. And yep, poker face in place throughout 😃

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