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Don’t settle for safe

January 22, 2018

You all know I love to read and every time I finish a book I give my highlights from the book. I finished up Don’t Settle for Safe by Sarah Jakes Roberts (T.D. Jakes daughter) and I was amazed by what I learned that I had to apply it to 2018. Make sure you get yourself a copy of the book off of Amazon.

So let’s dive into some key phrases that resonated with me throughout the book…

The gift of growing requires letting go -It’s so hard to let things go. It’s hard to forgive…it’s hard to forget the past but in order to grow you must let it go. Here is how I learned to let things go…see the good in someone. Trust that the Lord sends people to you for a season and a reason. Learn the lesson and let it go. If they did you wrong it was for you to learn a lesson. That is how I am learning to let things go these days and with me doing that I find myself growing daily in my spiritual walk and personal walk

Flaws are a necessary part of life because they foster humility – No one is without flaws. Some flaws we see on the outside and it’s clear other times we don’t see them through the seeing eye. I have a flaw that I don’t mind sharing….I don’t ever think I am good enough for anything. I am not a good enough blogger, a good enough photographer, a good enough mother. I know it’s bad but it also helps me to embrace the imperfectness of life and learn that no one is perfect

The word try leaves room for failure when it isn’t necessary – How often do we say we will try to do this or try to do that? Well, try leaves room for failure. Start replacing that try with I will do this, I will do that and then let the chips fall where they may. My son is failing science right and we were using the word try. I told him to try to pass but we are going to put a stop to that and say we are going to pass science. We will do it! Replace that try in your life and watch what happens

There will be times that you will make decisions and your eyes won’t be open until after the damage is done – Don’t you hate when you make a decision and then afterward you realize the mistake you made by your choice. Your eyes are wide open after the mistake but I think that is the best way to learn the lesson of life. Kind of like learning from your mistakes. You can have the best intentions but someone may get hurt. I always make sure I think about others before I make any huge decisions especially when it comes to my children

There is nothing wrong with not having figured out who you are, but so much can go wrong when you pretend that you have – I will admit I don’t really know who I am as of yet. I know I’m getting there but one thing I don’t do is pretend to be something I’m not. It’s okay if I’m almost 40 and I have yet to figure out life. We convince ourselves that we have it together but in reality, we really don’t.

Sometimes God allows other people to go ahead of you so that the path can be clear when you get there – We gotta stop being jealous of folks especially when they are trying to help us grow and get to a place where they are. I always surround myself with people who have been there and done that so I can know the mistakes to avoid so I can win faster. There is nothing like learning from those that walked the path before you even knew what road to turn down

Like the seasons that come and go, so are the people assigned to our lives – Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life. Tyler Perry gave a good example of this in one of his plays. Some folks are like the leaves they blow every which way, some people are the branches…they look stable but they can break you at any time. The roots though….the people who are the roots are meant to stay in your life. Don’t get upset if someone is out of your life that means they were only there for a season

The most dangerous words in a Woman’s vocabulary is I’m okay – I have said this many times and it’s not true. My real friends know when I’m not okay. I say the words sometimes hoping to believe them but most of the time it’s just me cheering myself up. We have to stop saying we are okay when we aren’t (myself included)

Many times people hurt me because I had an expectation for them that was rooted in my own desires, not their reality. Therefore my inability to forgive was because they disappointed the role I needed them to fill – We have got to learn to accept others reality as theirs and not our own. I can’t expect a man to love me who doesn’t love himself. I told a friend the other day how can you expect your spouse to love you when they can’t even love themselves. Stop expecting things from people that can’t give it to you based on what you want them to give

People who do bad things aren’t always evil; often they are broken – People don’t just wake up and become bad….what made them get that way. How were they raised? What kind of environment did they live in? Understand people and then you can understand those evil people (most) are just broken people looking for attention. Bullies are prime examples. A lot of them need attention they come from broken homes or they see their parents bullying so they become that. They aren’t evil they just see it, learn it, then become it.

It’s not what you can see that scares you; it’s what you never saw coming that can knock the wind out of you – Chile….when things hit you that you never saw coming. I got an opportunity to do photography for a huge brand. I didn’t see that coming and it knocked the wind out of me and suddenly I got scared. Now had I saw them coming I could have prepared and prepped and then I would have been trying to be overly perfect. Love is like that too….we want this perfect love match and this perfect guy but when you see that love coming at you that you didn’t expect…watch out. It will not always come in the form you expect it too either.

I hope you enjoyed some key points from the book that I loved. Make sure you go and pick you up a copy. It’s not a book that you can read in one sitting (at least I couldn’t) I had to stop and think about some of the things written. What book are you reading? I am always open to suggestion. Right now I am reading Trust by Iyanla






  • Reply
    robin rue
    January 22, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    Love this. I have embraced my flaws because they are what makes me, me! We all have them, so why not own them and learn from them.

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    January 22, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    This sounds like a great book. I’ve read many of T.D. Jake’s books but I haven’t read one by his daughter. I need to read this one. I like what she says about flaws. I’m so hard on myself sometimes.

  • Reply
    Amber Myers
    January 22, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    I’ll have to pick up this book. It sounds inspiring and helpful. I try to be kind to all, even the bullies, and I tell my kids the same.

  • Reply
    Tomi C
    January 22, 2018 at 2:56 pm

    Thanks for the reading recommendation. I just recently downloaded it. I read her book Lost and Found and it was pretty good. I love that she’s so candid about her past and hope it helps minister to others.

  • Reply
    Sarah Bailey
    January 22, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    This sounds like a great book, I have to admit I have no idea who I am, what I am here to do – I hope one day I work it out, but for now I’m at least happy trying to work it all out.

  • Reply
    January 22, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Haven’t heard of this book but sounds like a wonderful read. I do know who I am and I know where I am going here and after. Comforting feeling.

  • Reply
    Sara Welch
    January 22, 2018 at 5:22 pm

    Well said Kita. We need to be able to push ourselves.

  • Reply
    January 22, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    I too can apply some of these points in my life too, I firmly believe that everyone who comes into my life comes to teach me a lesson, I just hope I am learning those lessons.

  • Reply
    January 22, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    I’ll need to check this book out! I’m really trying to get back into reading in 2018, so this is definitely one to add to my list. It’s always great when you can find life lessons in books.

  • Reply
    Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh
    January 22, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Love this!! I can totally relate to it all. I have had one friend that has remained steady since middle school. She is still my best friend today. I had a friend, who I thought was going to be a really great friend, but it didn’t last. I’m not sure what I learned from that friendship except maybe, the term a wolf in sheeps clothing really is true.

  • Reply
    valmg @ Mom Knows It All
    January 22, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    I love to read and generally stick to fiction including mystery and suspense. I love to read but never give myself enough time to do it.

  • Reply
    Sarah Honey
    January 23, 2018 at 12:31 am

    Sounds like an amazing book. It’s so true in order to grow you have to let go. That can be so hard sometimes but so worth it in the end. Excited to check out this book!

  • Reply
    Antoinette Cain
    January 23, 2018 at 12:41 am

    It is a great read, isn’t it? I have the book as well and it has been the perfect dose of inspiration for the new year.

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    January 23, 2018 at 12:46 am

    This sounds like a book I need to pick up and read. That “try” is a big one, I could hear myself saying it in my head as I was reading your words. I’m so guilty of this. I’m going to remove try from my vocabulary when it suggests failure.

  • Reply
    Our Family World
    January 23, 2018 at 12:55 am

    That book is a treasure chest of learning about life. I need to get a copy of that. It may well be the book that I have been longing to read for the longest time. Thank you for letting me know about the book “Don’t Settle For Safe.”

  • Reply
    Chubskulit Rose
    January 23, 2018 at 1:19 am

    I definitely agree that flaws are necessary part of life, without it, we won’t learn much. I love this article, there’s a lot of things that I learned from reading this.

  • Reply
    January 23, 2018 at 5:22 am

    I agree with so much of this! Sometimes you just have to move forward, risks and all.

  • Reply
    stephanie parrell
    January 23, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    I love this post so much. I especially like your point about people who do bad things are not evil. I think that people assume that when people hurt them or do things that are bad and evil that these people should put in another category that is subhuman and evil. These are the most fearful and hurt people. Compassion is the best action for all when dealing with these people often times.

  • Reply
    Sandy N Vyjay
    January 23, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    The highlights of the book are some wonderful life truths. I am sure that reading the book would be a transforming experience. I especially liked the part about letting things fo. That is the only way to move forward.

  • Reply
    Sanaa Brooks
    January 23, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    I love this! “The gift of growing requires letting go.” There are a few things I know that I have to get over before I can “boss up” so that one speaks to me most. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Reply
    January 23, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Thanks for the quick overview! I haven’t read any of his books, but I may start after reading your post. Thanks!

  • Reply
    January 23, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    How about I didn’t even know T.D. Jakes’ daughter wrote books. This book has great messages. It sounds like something that I should read. Now, it is just about figuring out when lol

  • Reply
    January 23, 2018 at 11:38 pm

    So much truth to this post!!! I love this and love that you mentioned dangerous words for women are “I’m okay.”

  • Reply
    January 24, 2018 at 12:40 am

    This “ Like the seasons that come and go, so are the people assigned to our lives“ resonated with me so much. Sometimes people are not meant to be in our lives forever and that should be ok. This sounds like a great read with some mind opening ways to think about what’s happening in our lives. Right now I’m reading Latham Thomas’s Own your Glow. Based on your book choice, I think you’d enjoy it!

  • Reply
    January 24, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    Girl, these are some seriously great gems of knowledge! I like eliminating the word “try” out of your life since it leaves room for failure. I’m not currently reading any books, but this one sounds great.

  • Reply
    EG III
    January 24, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    Sounds like a great read. Last year was one of the first years I truly realized that in order to grow I’ll have to let go of certain people and certain things. I’m currently reading How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less.

  • Reply
    Crystal Lewis
    January 26, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    Love this. It’s been a long road for to me to learn how to forgive and move on from certain tragedy in my life.

  • Reply
    January 28, 2018 at 2:38 am

    I loved this! I really need to check out some books and get back to reading. I will definitely be adding this one to the list. Reading helps to relax my mind so much.

  • Reply
    January 28, 2018 at 2:45 am

    Definitely adding this book to my list, so many good gems!!

  • Reply
    Fatima Torres
    January 29, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    I love this piece. It’s so raw and real. I think it’s important to understand there’s so much more out there. That, and growth will come of leaving your comfort zone.

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