My moms birthday was yesterday so I decided to write her a letter. I hope she’s reading it in heaven.
How are you up there in your mansion beyond the skies? I hope you are doing good. I see you got your bestie back. I was hurt that I lost Auntie Emma she was your best friend, my aunt who wasn’t blood, and she was my mom after you died. Danaija and I talked after the funeral and said that we know you all are shopping at all the fabric stores together sewing us something to give to us when we see you again. I don’t have a mom figure now and that saddens me the most. I have my friends but it’s nothing like having an older person to talk to. I know you see how I am doing down here on earth. While on the outside I’m good on the inside I sure do miss you. I miss our talks every day. I went to an event the other day and they were talking about mother and daughter relationships and as I listened I thought to myself these children were deprived of having a good mom. I was lucky. Some of them were complaining about their moms taking up their time or their mom not being the mom they wanted them to be. I was listening and thought hmmmm I had a great mom. Although you didn’t show love in the way I wanted you showed love in your actions by always being there when I needed you and always putting my needs in front of yours.
The kids are doing good. That boy you so loved is a sweetheart he just can’t get his grades together. I am on him though because I know you were on me about education and telling me that it was the key to everything. My daughter is your clone she loves crafts and dressing up. Loudee calls her little Sonja and she is that. It’s hard being a single parent I didn’t know you had it this hard. With Decarlo gone I sometimes feel drained from being a mom all day. I am learning to take some time to myself but it’s tough with no help. I am making it through and I am thankful for your teachings.
Every time I lose someone these days I gain another angel. I have grandma, you, the hubs and now Emma. I am sure that life will be filled with challenges but with God and my angels I should be okay until I get about 90 years old. Life on earth isn’t fair…I remember you telling me that often. I am sure seeing that more and more but I am also seeing that life is what I make of it. Even though it’s not fair I still have to find the peace in every life decision that I go through.
I miss you and I wish you were here so I hope that you take this Birthday to have fun I mean after all it’s your 70th birthday. Have some cake, enjoy Emma, tell Decarlo I said hi and continue looking out for us down here. We love you and Happy Birthday!
Your smart mouth daughter,
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