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It's Life It's Parenting

How can a parent not live in fear?

June 27, 2016

Mass shootings are going on at a high rate, alligators are lurking in waters, parents “forget” to leave their kids in the car. So many things that are going on in the world how can a parent not live in fear?

Yes the sign said no swimming but the child was not swimming he was wading in the water. I have no problems with people obeying the sign and not swimming my issue is that if Disney knew that gators are around there should be signs all over that place that say…Watch for gators or deadly animals. People who aren’t from Florida don’t know that gators are frequent there. I feel that there should have been signs because hello….gators do come up on land too so what if the child wasn’t in the water but was chilling in the chairs. The gator could still walk his tail up there too. Y’all forget they can walk on land….come on. Now Disney has put up a fence which is all good but it happened after the fact. That should have been done before the incident happened. I am not blaming the mother because as a mother anything can happen because none of us are perfect….none of us.

Anything can happen…

Your child can go on a ride and the ride malfunctions

Your child can go into the water where he is only ankle deep and a wave can snatch them away (this happened to my son and I had to jump in the water to save him before he was pulled away)

Your child can eat something that they may be allergic too and can’t breathe

Your child can be at the beach and a plane could crash

Keep an eye on your surroundings and know the area. If you are near any type of water expect anything. In the south expect gators or snakes…I don’t know anything about up north but any type of water can hold anything. Be aware of water at all times. I don’t even let my kids lean over a body of water because they can’t swim that well so I make sure to make them stand back if there is no barrier.

Tips to face fear

  • Invite fear into your life and learn to move towards it. Don’t let one monkey stop a show. If you fear that your child will go into the gorilla exposure at the zoo face it. Talk about the dangers of what to do and not to do to your child before you go to the zoo. Remember to always keep your eye on the child no matter especially if you are around the dangerous animals at any zoo.
  • Train your mind to expect the best. If your child says hey mom I am going out to the club tonight…say I love you and put it in your mind that they will be back
  • Plan to be great no matter what. No one plans on bad things happening but it does help if you plan on things ahead of time. Plan means…know where you are going do your research. If you aren’t from Florida plan to see what the weather will be, what type of animals frequent there, are there bears, what type of snakes live down there, etc.
  • I trust that I can handle 3 kids at the beach. Anymore than 3…I need help. I know that kids are in my care even if their not mine. Know what you can handle and what you can’t!

Fear is real and there is nothing like the fear of what if’s. You can’t live in fear because you will be no good to yourself the best thing you can do is know that if something happens it was their time. Tell your children that you love them dearly every single day and be the best parent that you can be no matter how many mistakes we make.

How do you handle fear? When it comes to your kids do you handle fear differently? 

How can a parent not live in fear?

 

 

  • Reply
    Emerald Lavender
    June 27, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    This is a very thoughtful post, Kita. It’s true that things are happening all around us that make us feel that we have to protect ourselves from the outside world. Your advice is sound. Facing fear is the only way it dissipates. There are some things that are out of our control, but the things we can control, we should. Thank you for this post.

  • Reply
    Cindy Gordon (Vegetarian Mamma)
    June 27, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Phew such a subject. The first paragraph just gave me chills. It is very hard not to live in fear for our kids during this time frame. These are not the things we had to worry about growing up as kids. It is a very different world. Thanks for the article!!

  • Reply
    Rashmi Primlani
    June 27, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    Profound. Will share!!

  • Reply
    Jenn
    June 27, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    I have been a parent for almost 30 years now. Wow, typing that makes me feel old! There is no way a good parent can not live in fear. I still feel it all the time. I worry about both of my girls all the time.

  • Reply
    Jennifer Borget
    June 27, 2016 at 9:30 pm

    This was a very insightful post. It’s very sad the events that have occurred over the past couple of weeks. I agree that we need to be more aware; however, we should continue to live our lives as normal but be more cautious and aware of our surroundings. Thank you for this.

  • Reply
    Dee
    June 27, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    I truly understand this post and living in the world that we live in today its easy to let fear over take us and keep us from living to our full potential. I believe in inviting fear but facing it. Look it straight in its eyes and tell it that it has no hold over your life. That you will live free with the faith and knowing you are living to the fullest.

  • Reply
    Ashley Winters
    June 28, 2016 at 1:05 am

    There are a million fears in the world. I do think parents need to talk with their kids about these things. I mean I tell my kids the WHY. They don’t get danger unless you tell them why it is dangerous. You are right, though, you just never know and no parent is perfect.

  • Reply
    Tee
    June 28, 2016 at 1:32 am

    It really is hard not to be fearful of unfortunate things happening to your kids when you are a parent. I think it helps to know that you are not the first nor the last parent to worry about your offsprings. It’s just a natural part of being a caregiver.

  • Reply
    Felicita Moncada
    June 28, 2016 at 2:26 am

    I always try to be honest with my kids. There are people who do bad things – I like to be realistic because the world can be harsh. I think if kids are at an age that they understand, I like to talk things through as a family.

  • Reply
    Censie Sawyer
    June 28, 2016 at 3:23 am

    It is so easy to slip into that cycle of fear but we must remember to live every day in the moment. Sure I hug my kids super tight every morning I drop them off at school but the reality is, something “bad” could happen in the safest areas of our life. Live your days to the fullest and teach your children the same!

  • Reply
    Heather
    June 28, 2016 at 4:45 am

    There are so many things to fear as a parent. I think it is natural to worry about some things and be afraid of others. Your advice is great. Facing fear head on is one of the best ways to deal with it. Taking deep breaths helps me to cope with the moments that scare me.

  • Reply
    Kristy @ Mommy Hates Cooking
    June 28, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    It definitely is a wild world that we are living in. Before I had children of my own, I didn’t have the anxiety and worry that I do now. I guess that is part of the job. I have to say, though, that as a Christian I place my fears in the hands of my Creator and pray that He not only gives me peace — but that He watches over my children. Knowing that He is on my side helps.

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