Advice: Learning When to Hush Up

June 20, 2016

Let’s face it, most of us love to give advice especially on topics we think we know a lot about. However, our advice usually heavily relies on opinion rather than fact. What’s hard for a lot of people to remember is the fact that what works for you might not work for someone else. Each person’s situation and circumstances are different even if slightly, there is always a difference. Therefore, if you give advice based on what worked for you, the same thing might not work for someone else.
In business, each step you take in making decisions can help or hurt your business. You have to weigh the pros and cons of each choice. However, business decisions can be hard and often times involve a bit of shooting in the dark. In these moments is when people will seek advice and it’s ok to give advice on what you yourself would do in the situation. The worst time to give advice is when they didn’t ask for it. Since advice heavily relies on opinion more times than not, giving advice when it’s not asked for can cause gaps in relationships. It could be business relationships or friendships, either way, it’s not good. When giving advice, the person receiving it can feel as though you are undermining their efforts. Let them do their thing. It’s their business and if every business were run the same way, there would be no uniqueness to it. Try to only give advice when a person asks and even then, don’t be forceful about the advice making them feel like you will be upset unless they agree to your course of action. People don’t like to be around a person like that.
The worst time to give advice is when you are clueless in a situation or only have hypothetical knowledge on it. Unless you’re an expert, don’t try to solve someone’s problem. Business decisions can be tricky and if you give bad advice on accident because you wanted to act like you knew what you were doing or you thought you knew what you were doing, this could be detrimental to a business. Plus, if anything goes awry with the advice you gave when you were playing doctor, that person may not trust you and we’re back to the gap in various relationships again.
Overall, try to be selective in your advice giving. Advice can be wonderful in many situations but there are also many situations in which it’s not useful at all. Are you an expert? Do you have hands-on knowledge about the topic at hand? If so, giving advice may be very beneficial! Are you a know-it-all? Are you giving advice when someone didn’t ask for it? Are you pushy about your advice and feel like it’s the only viable option? Then you’re doing it wrong. Advice is supposed to be like a suggestion, just a little helping hand in figuring something out. It’s not supposed to be a bombardment. If your friend or someone you know has a business, don’t try to run their business for them through your advice. Just hush up and support them.

Advice: Learning When to Hush Up

  • Reply
    June 20, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Agree. If I give advice which is not very often and usually only by request I always make sure that I preface what ever I’m about to say with “in my personal experience”. I also make sure I give all sides of the story to clarify as much as possible.

  • Reply
    Tammilee Tips
    June 20, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    I have had this problem in the past with not knowing when to stop talking. I have learned of the years to admit when I am not an expert on something but still share my thoughts. It can open up a really good dialogue, but the disclosure of not being an expert is so important!

  • Reply
    June 20, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    Yes, this is a great advice. This is a real struggle for me at times. I am a good listener, but too often I say too much afterwards. I can really run my mouth, and then later regret some of it. I really need to work on it.

  • Reply
    June 20, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    This is so true. I think in general everyone wants to get the last word in, and it’s not often until we’re older and a little more mature that we start to understand sometimes it’s better to be quiet and listen rather than always be the one talking!

  • Reply
    June 21, 2016 at 2:00 am

    This post is spot on. It can be tough to just listen to someone’s problems without offering advice, but it can also be really helpful. Many times, we just need to vent and say things out loud, and we can figure out our next step ourselves, but when advice is given it can sometimes make it harder.

  • Reply
    Censie Sawyer
    June 21, 2016 at 2:58 am

    Here is a quote I love = There are three sides to every story. Yours, Mine and the Truth. Something to remember and most of the time, our misunderstandings and fighting come when we forget to HUSH up. THis is something I have to work on daily in my life.

  • Reply
    Heather Wilson
    June 21, 2016 at 3:30 am

    Most often when a person vents out, it’s usually just venting out without needing any advice. It could really be annoying to encounter individuals who give unsolicited advice. Best practice is to only give one or two when asked and always a disclaimer that it is a personal experience and may not work for everyone.

  • Reply
    aaronica @ the crunchy mommy
    June 21, 2016 at 3:35 am

    Tact is something that is hard to develop. As is the ability to know when it’s time to offer up your opinion/when to bit your tongue. But when you learn, it’s such a valuable tool because then opinions and advice become more appreciated since they’re sought after and not forced onto others.

  • Reply
    June 21, 2016 at 4:11 am

    This is one of those life skills that is so hard to grasp for many. I don’t know if it’s just human nature to want to help and chime in, but there are times when it is best to just listen. Especially if you don’t have anything constructive to add to the situation. You could end up doing more harm than good.

  • Reply
    Bites for Foodies
    June 21, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    I always prefer erring on the side of caution when hearing about other people’s problems or issues. I prefer listening and being empathetic as opposed to judging. You never know what other people are really going through until you go through it yourself!

  • Reply
    June 22, 2016 at 12:39 am

    I’m not an expert when it comes to giving advice. So it’s more proper for me to just keep quiet and empathize with the situation. Business decisions are harder to resolve most of the time.

  • Reply
    Diane Sullivan
    June 22, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    I have learned over the years that most times it is just best to sit and listen. Most friends do not really want advice. They already know what they are going to do. They just want someone to vent to. Of course there are always cases where I cannot keep my mouth shut and have to offer some type of advice! lol.

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