The biggest misconception about love is that we are supposed to shower it upon others at all times while putting ourselves aside. Of course, loving others is a wonderful thing. Even if we don’t know the person, we should always act out of love and do the best we can to be loving and kind to others. However, how many of us forget that love is meant for us to? I’m not talking about receiving it from others, I’m talking about giving it to ourselves. There’s no need to go overboard but there is a need for it to at least exist in your life. It can be extremely hard to learn how to put yourself out of the way so you can love yourself. Sounds confusing, right? Here are a few tips to help you to learn to love yourself.
- Don’t Let the Mirror Lie to You – It’s easy for us to look in a mirror and spot all the “flaws” we have. Mirrors themselves are not kind to your appearance. Many mirrors slightly distort your figure and appearance often making you look slightly different than you actually look. You literally can’t trust what is looking back at you.
- Forget Hollywood, Magazines, and Celebs – You don’t have to be “perfect” by Hollywood’s standards to love yourself. Are your friends and family “perfect” by Hollywood’s standards? No, but you still love them so do the same for yourself. P.S. Those people don’t look like that in real life, keep that in mind.
- Don’t Rely on Makeup – Makeup or other things that alter your appearance or cover it up (this goes for guys as well) is a gateway to not letting your true self shine. Don’t get me wrong, a little bit of makeup can really accent a person but when you start obsessing and put so much on that you literally look like a completely different person, you’re not allowing yourself to love you, you’re setting yourself up to only love the person you are once your makeup is on. There will be times where there won’t be anything to cover you up and you still need to love yourself and be just as confident then as you are when you’re covered up.
- Enjoy Your Alone Time – Sometimes we feel like we need others around to always validate our importance. Start taking alone time and using it to actually enjoy yourself. Don’t call or message somebody, actually chill with yourself. Read a book, watch some Netflix, do you. Be comfortable being alone because that means you love yourself and have confidence in who you are and don’t need somebody to tell you or show you that.
- Set Goals – Listen, most of us could be healthier. If you look in the mirror and know you need to lose a few pounds, don’t obsess over it and start hating yourself. If you know, health wise, that it would be better to lose a few pounds, set a healthy goal and start losing those few pounds. Just because you’ve got a few pounds to lose doesn’t mean you’re any less beautiful than you were before, it just means you’re normal. Setting goals goes for anything in life to better yourself. Loving yourself means striving to be the best you can be. Love yourself enough to be honest with yourself on a daily basis and say, “What could I do better on?” We do this with friends and family because we love them and want to help them reach their full potential, we should do this with ourselves, in ALL areas of our life.
- Don’t Be Complacent – Being complacent means you don’t take yourself seriously. Start taking yourself seriously in your abilities and the longer you do that, the more you will find confidence in yourself. Confidence leads to loving yourself more.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help – I have a friend recently who got sick and put on 50 pounds in two months. She had been used to being in shape all the time and it really did a number on her confidence and the love she had for herself. She worked out every day and went on diets to counteract the weight. Nothing was helping. She had trouble admitting that it could be a sickness and had trouble admitting she had gained so much weight. After finally seeing a doctor, she was able to come to terms with her sickness and the weight and begin healing. Professionals are out there to help us when it goes beyond our capabilities. Don’t be afraid to go to them for help. If you have trouble with weight, don’t dismiss it, there could be an underlying issue. Sometimes when we work really hard towards a goal and aren’t making it anywhere, it can really make us feel defeated and worthless—not good enough. This is the way my friend felt when her efforts resulted in zero change. Sometimes letting others step in and help will show us reality instead of what we’ve put in our own heads as truth.
- Forget the Talk, Go For the Action – Most of us do a lot of talking but never follow through with it. Loving others means keeping your word so why not do the same for yourself? How many years have you been telling yourself you were going to read that book or take that trip? How many times have you driven by a store and made a note in your head that you would stop in because in interested you? Stop putting those things off. Life is short. By all means, don’t shirk responsibilities but put aside some of the things that aren’t pressing and keep your word to yourself. Loving yourself means not living with false promises you’ve given yourself.