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It's Life tip tuesday

8 Tips for dealing with In-Laws

November 29, 2016

Oh boy, the in-laws. We all have one or two (or many) that seem to be a pain and when we’re forced to be around them for the holidays, it can put a damper on the festivities. Don’t think you’re alone in dealing with in-laws, everybody has an issue at some point and that’s ok. It’s how we handle ourselves and our interactions with those troublesome ones that decides how the rest of the holidays are going to turn out. Don’t be the one who causes more issues, be the one who makes it better! Here are a few tips to surviving the holidays with in-laws you can’t stand.

Don’t Trip Over What They Say – Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about what they’re going to say or how they’re going to react to things. If they’re a pain, they will always find something to be upset over. Just ignore their salty words and see them for what they are, a desperate attempt at feeling better about themselves or being controlling. If you don’t give them the control, they won’t get it.

Try to Avoid In-Depth Conversations with the Worst Ones – It’s ok to cut things short with the in-laws you know will try to start something. If you can’t get out of it, see tip number one!

Smile til’ it hurts – The best cartoon I have ever watched had the best advice, “If people are mean to you, just smile til’ it hurts.” Don’t let them steal your joy. Smile through it and MEAN that smile! Don’t fake it, truly think about all the reasons you have to smile and remind yourself it’s only a short time that you have to deal with them. This often rubs off over time so keep that in mind!

Respect that there Will Be Differences – Everyone believes differently. For example, you believe you need to raise your kids a certain way and the in-laws might believe you need to do it another way. Respect their views. This doesn’t mean you have to listen to a squat of what they’re saying just respect it like you want them to respect yours. Again, this behavior rubs off.

Set Topic Limits – Sometimes we like to vent to family members but with in-laws that are a pain, this can be a mistake. Keep it casual but not overly comfortable. Don’t share personal things and try to keep your questions and conversations with others light and not too deep. Don’t get involved more than you need to.

Don’t Expect a Miracle – Don’t walk in expecting anything other than reality. They’re going to suck, they always have and people rarely change from their basic behavior. Know this going in to any event that includes your in-laws. It most likely won’t be different this year so don’t rely on that to help you through.

Just Leave – If it gets too bad, or you know it’s going to be bad, go and only stay a short while. If it gets really bad, nicely excuse yourself and your family to head home. Don’t make anything uncomfortable just scoot out. No reason to subject yourself to overly negative things. Further, if you know it’s going to be bad before even arriving, set a time limit beforehand and stick to it. No reason to gamble.

Look for the Humor – Situations with in-laws can get uncomfortable and tense. Try to laugh things off and not take it personally. Try to find humor in any given situation and make the best of it.

Overall, your family is your family. Although they can be a pain, try to find the positive aspects of your in-laws and remember that they are family no matter what.

8 Tips for dealing with In-Laws

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    November 30, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    I always got along fine with my mother-in-law. Of course, we lived in different states. 🙂 She passed away last year so I no longer have in-laws. However, my daughter has a mother-in-law that’s a handful, to say the least. I need to pass this tips along to her. She’ll need them.

  • Reply
    Pam
    November 30, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    My in-laws and I get along fine so there’s no issue there, which is good. I have friends whose in-laws make them very uncomfortable. I need to pass these along to them!

  • Reply
    Paula Schuck
    November 30, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    I have a friend who could really use this. Her and her in-laws aren’t exactly the friendliest. I feel so lucky that my in-laws are like second parents.

  • Reply
    Vera Sweeney
    November 30, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    I love these tips!!! I am blessed with great inlaws, but I have heard some stories from my girlfriends about problems with their inlaws they have run into.

  • Reply
    Jeanette
    November 30, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    I have friends of mine that have issues with their in-laws. They could use a post like this. My parents coming to town for about a month but my husband gets along with my parents so well, I wonder sometimes if they are his long-lost parents. LOL LOL

  • Reply
    Heather @ Kraus House Mom
    November 30, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    I have fantastic in-laws, it’s friends of them I run into issues with. I have a daughter with special needs and they are always telling me “what their cousin/friend/neighbor did”. Thanks, but I got it covered.

  • Reply
    Candy
    November 30, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    Yep have a pain in the you know what in law. I learned to smile and ignore. Walk away and be busy doing something else. Not worth ruining the day

  • Reply
    Sarah Bailey
    November 30, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    I’ve been lucky so far I get on OK with the in-laws though I know people who don’t and I think thats a shame 🙁

  • Reply
    Ali
    November 30, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    Great advice. Family comes in all different packages and, though you can’t choose your family, you can choose who you are around. It’s important to keep your own morals and values in mind!

  • Reply
    Jenn @ EngineerMommy
    November 30, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    These are great tips for dealing with those in-laws. Some of these are pretty amusing, but I think they are all pretty spot-on! Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    Emma Spellman
    November 30, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    Tis the season for family crazyness. Lol. Luckily my in laws are okay, but I have heard of some stories from friends and it can be super stressful this time of year.

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    November 30, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    I’m so thankful that my in-laws are amazing. I lucked up in the best kind of way. Prior to getting them the ones I had before… yeah well I so needed these tips.

  • Reply
    Pam
    December 1, 2016 at 1:37 am

    I am lucky that most of our family is really great. These are great tips for people who aren’t so lucky.

  • Reply
    Nancy @ whispered inspirations
    December 1, 2016 at 2:28 am

    Great tips! Luckily for me we all get along.

  • Reply
    Angelic Sinova
    December 1, 2016 at 3:35 am

    Great tips! Smile til it hurts is such just great advice for any situation but I can definitely see how this applies to in-laws.

  • Reply
    Kate | My Mommy Brain
    December 1, 2016 at 3:54 am

    These are great tips. I’ve heard some horror stories before. My MIL died before I met my husband and my FIL lives in Ireland so I don’t really have any issues.

  • Reply
    ricci
    December 1, 2016 at 6:29 am

    These are all great tips for dealing with in-laws…I’m not married so I don’t have to deal with that yet thank goodness! Great post though!

  • Reply
    Angela Harris
    December 1, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Thank you for sharing. These are great tips. This time of year can be the hardest with some of my family members.

  • Reply
    Rebecca Swenor
    December 1, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    These are all great tips for dealing with the in laws for the holidays. I think that for the holidays everyone should make an effort to get along. If the in laws act up the only thing I do is walk away or leave. Thanks for sharing the tips.

  • Reply
    Nellie
    December 2, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    I totally know this pain too well. My in-laws are like 70% amazing…the other 30% however? child please. I gotta go into these family events prayed all the way up.

  • Reply
    Karen
    November 16, 2017 at 12:00 pm

    Mine aren’t terrible but we aren’t besties either. 😀
    Great tips!!

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