I have an upcoming middle schooler……*give me a moment to cry real tears*
Ok I’m back. My son is going to the 6th grade. He is at the same school he was at for elementary because it’s a charter school and they go up to the 8th grade. I am glad that I don’t have to take kids to two different schools. I remember when I was in middle school…I played basketball and I started to buck up at my mom. I thought I knew it all and hated everything she told me during those years. My high school years was much calmer for me as I was use to my mom and I figured out how to win her over better. I have a boy who is a tad bit handsome so I want to make sure he knows my personal rules for middle school. Don’t touch any girls and don’t have any girls touch you! I want to make sure he keeps his hands to himself and I also want him to know that some of these girls are fast. (I know I was in middle school lol) I told him to keep his hands to himself don’t even hug a girl because I don’t want any problems….none whatsoever. He can say hi and he can give them dap but that’s it. Don’t touch any parts of their bodies at all and please please please don’t tease anyone because these are the crucial years where girls and guys start changing. We all were kids ourselves and things haven’t changed much…they just use new language but same concepts apply. Here are a few things I am worried about and what I’m going to do to help my son transition smoothly.
This is huge! My son failed a lot last year because he didn’t turn in his work. Like really…you got a 0 because the paper was deep down in your bookbag. Not this year we are having some rules in place.
Rule 1: I will set my son up with his own calendar on his phone to keep track with his projects and upcoming dates for school. I will plug in when he has something due and he will also know what he needs to do on a daily basis. I might set him up with the todist app so that he can check that daily of what needs to be done.
Rule 2: I will set a weekly backpack cleaning day for him. I will not have him missing assignments this year. So we will clean out his bookbag probably on Wed that way he still has time to turn things in if he needs to
Rule 3: We will set timers for things. My son is slow…I want him to move faster and pay attention to the time better so we will make sure he his chores, homework and other things in a timely manner
Changing classrooms won’t be new for my son he did it since the 4th grade so he is use to that. They will have lockers for the first time this year so he won’t be use to that. I have told him to keep his locker clean at all times, don’t stand and talk at the lockers because he will miss the time to get to class. He will have his cell phone on him as this is the first time kids can bring it to school. I hope he pays attention in class and not on that cell phone or it will belong to me
This is the year where girls will be into boys and boys will be into…other stuff. My son knows about the birds and the bees so I hope he doesn’t sit around talking about it with his guy friends. These are the crucial years that you find out who your friends are and you find out how some people will stab you in the back. I want my son to be clear….you are in school to learn. Everyone can be your friend and everyone can be your enemy. Choose wisely and make sure you aren’t following the wrong crowd. I have explained to him that there will be consequences for your actions. Be careful what you choose to do. This is the time to make not only the best decision but to make sure you follow what’s right even if no one else is doing it. I remember middle school was awkward for me. I was at the stage where I hated everyone but wanted to hang with everyone…I didn’t know what I wanted lol. I also had a smart mouth in middle school where I started talking back to teachers more….I hope my kids don’t pick up on that smh
They run high during these times. My son will hate me one day and probably come to me for something the next. I know I have to be patient. I think my son will be easier to manage for middle school but my girl…..lawd hammercy. My son still cries about things and I don’t make him feel that it’s not ok but in middle school…crying will get you teased so I want him to know that this may happen. Kids also start being a bit harsher during these times and anything can hurt their feelings. I am not ready for the ups and downs of emotions but I will make sure my son can come to me for things I also have some great guy friends who are ready and waiting to pick up the slack for me.
My son will have his phone on him during the school day. I will put an app on there to monitor his whereabouts and I will also make sure I go through his phone at random times. Any social media that you get on I have to follow you or you can’t get on it. I am not there to police everything and I don’t even care if you tell a white lie here and there but I want to make sure you don’t tell anyone your whereabouts and you keep certain things private. My son has a snapchat and I follow him the rules are simple…he can’t snap anywhere in my house but in his room all other rooms and outside areas are off limits. He can snap at school and other public places but do not show addresses and make sure he isn’t embarrassing anyone buy himself. Do not snap a girl crying or someone who fell down…I will not have it and you will not do that to others. My son knows about sex, violence, and foul language. I cuss daily so he is use to that. I am not here for the violence so he knows that he is not to touch anyone. If someone pushes him or hits him tell a teacher…learn how to let things go you don’t have to attend every fight. Cyber Bullying is something new so I told him to let me know if something or someone is saying something that hurts him. I have moved his laptop into his bedroom but I will be going in there periodically to check on things to make sure he isn’t on any sites he isn’t supposed to be on. Electronics are shut down in my home in the weekdays Mon – Thurs to ensure homework is being done. No video games, phone comes to me and if his friends call I will answer and relay messages, no computer unless it involves school work. You can have your stuff back on Friday.
Here are few tips that I gathered from other middle school moms
- Be consistent. They will test your boundaries but they also love them. Stand firm on certain things and let them know that you won’t let up so they can stop testing you
- Don’t take what they say to heart. My son said that he hated me a few weeks ago because I made him do some math problems….awwww too bad
- Spend time with them one on one. I want my son to know he can come to me with anything. I am not his friend but I don’t want to be so strict that he feels he can’t come to me. I want him to know that mom likes some of the things he does and wants to spend time with him learning who he is becoming without his sister with us
- Give them more responsibilities so that he knows that mom has high expectations for him. My son has been babysitting lately and I have him doing things on his own. He needed to know how to work something the other day I told him to figure it out and go to youtube if needed. Sometimes….you just gotta figure it out!
I am not quite ready to let my son go but I feel he is ready. I am a somewhat strict but cool mom. I let him have things that he wants but I also expect things in return. I am proud of him and I know that he will do well this year…or else I will wring his neck lol. How did you transition your child to middle school? Were girls different than boys?
The Fab Five is ready for back to school. Check out some of these awesome posts to get you all ready for a new school year