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It's Parenting

5 things to think about during middle school years

July 31, 2017

I have an upcoming middle schooler……*give me a moment to cry real tears*

Ok I’m back. My son is going to the 6th grade. He is at the same school he was at for elementary because it’s a charter school and they go up to the 8th grade. I am glad that I don’t have to take kids to two different schools. I remember when I was in middle school…I played basketball and I started to buck up at my mom. I thought I knew it all and hated everything she told me during those years. My high school years was much calmer for me as I was use to my mom and I figured out how to win her over better. I have a boy who is a tad bit handsome so I want to make sure he knows my personal rules for middle school. Don’t touch any girls and don’t have any girls touch you! I want to make sure he keeps his hands to himself and I also want him to know that some of these girls are fast. (I know I was in middle school lol) I told him to keep his hands to himself don’t even hug a girl because I don’t want any problems….none whatsoever. He can say hi and he can give them dap but that’s it. Don’t touch any parts of their bodies at all and please please please don’t tease anyone because these are the crucial years where girls and guys start changing. We all were kids ourselves and things haven’t changed much…they just use new language but same concepts apply. Here are a few things I am worried about and what I’m going to do to help my son transition smoothly.

Organization

This is huge! My son failed a lot last year because he didn’t turn in his work. Like really…you got a 0 because the paper was deep down in your bookbag. Not this year we are having some rules in place.

Rule 1: I will set my son up with his own calendar on his phone to keep track with his projects and upcoming dates for school. I will plug in when he has something due and he will also know what he needs to do on a daily basis. I might set him up with the todist app so that he can check that daily of what needs to be done.

Rule 2: I will set a weekly backpack cleaning day for him. I will not have him missing assignments this year. So we will clean out his bookbag probably on Wed that way he still has time to turn things in if he needs to

Rule 3: We will set timers for things. My son is slow…I want him to move faster and pay attention to the time better so we will make sure he his chores, homework and other things in a timely manner

Changing classrooms won’t be new for my son he did it since the 4th grade so he is use to that. They will have lockers for the first time this year so he won’t be use to that. I have told him to keep his locker clean at all times, don’t stand and talk at the lockers because he will miss the time to get to class. He will have his cell phone on him as this is the first time kids can bring it to school. I hope he pays attention in class and not on that cell phone or it will belong to me

Relationships

This is the year where girls will be into boys and boys will be into…other stuff. My son knows about the birds and the bees so I hope he doesn’t sit around talking about it with his guy friends. These are the crucial years that you find out who your friends are and you find out how some people will stab you in the back. I want my son to be clear….you are in school to learn. Everyone can be your friend and everyone can be your enemy. Choose wisely and make sure you aren’t following the wrong crowd. I have explained to him that there will be consequences for your actions. Be careful what you choose to do. This is the time to make not only the best decision but to make sure you follow what’s right even if no one else is doing it. I remember middle school was awkward for me. I was at the stage where I hated everyone but wanted to hang with everyone…I didn’t know what I wanted lol. I also had a smart mouth in middle school where I started talking back to teachers more….I hope my kids don’t pick up on that smh

Emotions

They run high during these times. My son will hate me one day and probably come to me for something the next. I know I have to be patient. I think my son will be easier to manage for middle school but my girl…..lawd hammercy. My son still cries about things and I don’t make him feel that it’s not ok but in middle school…crying will get you teased so I want him to know that this may happen. Kids also start being a bit harsher during these times and anything can hurt their feelings. I am not ready for the ups and downs of emotions but I will make sure my son can come to me for things I also have some great guy friends who are ready and waiting to pick up the slack for me.

Technology

My son will have his phone on him during the school day. I will put an app on there to monitor his whereabouts and I will also make sure I go through his phone at random times. Any social media that you get on I have to follow you or you can’t get on it. I am not there to police everything and I don’t even care if you tell a white lie here and there but I want to make sure you don’t tell anyone your whereabouts and you keep certain things private. My son has a snapchat and I follow him the rules are simple…he can’t snap anywhere in my house but in his room all other rooms and outside areas are off limits. He can snap at school and other public places but do not show addresses and make sure he isn’t embarrassing anyone buy himself. Do not snap a girl crying or someone who fell down…I will not have it and you will not do that to others. My son knows about sex, violence, and foul language. I cuss daily so he is use to that. I am not here for the violence so he knows that he is not to touch anyone. If someone pushes him or hits him tell a teacher…learn how to let things go you don’t have to attend every fight. Cyber Bullying is something new so I told him to let me know if something or someone is saying something that hurts him. I have moved his laptop into his bedroom but I will be going in there periodically to check on things to make sure he isn’t on any sites he isn’t supposed to be on. Electronics are shut down in my home in the weekdays Mon – Thurs to ensure homework is being done. No video games, phone comes to me and if his friends call I will answer and relay messages, no computer unless it involves school work. You can have your stuff back on Friday.

Here are few tips that I gathered from other middle school moms

  • Be consistent. They will test your boundaries but they also love them. Stand firm on certain things and let them know that you won’t let up so they can stop testing you
  • Don’t take what they say to heart. My son said that he hated me a few weeks ago because I made him do some math problems….awwww too bad
  • Spend time with them one on one. I want my son to know he can come to me with anything. I am not his friend but I don’t want to be so strict that he feels he can’t come to me. I want him to know that mom likes some of the things he does and wants to spend time with him learning who he is becoming without his sister with us
  • Give them more responsibilities so that he knows that mom has high expectations for him. My son has been babysitting lately and I have him doing things on his own. He needed to know how to work something the other day I told him to figure it out and go to youtube if needed. Sometimes….you just gotta figure it out!

I am not quite ready to let my son go but I feel he is ready. I am a somewhat strict but cool mom. I let him have things that he wants but I also expect things in return. I am proud of him and I know that he will do well this year…or else I will wring his neck lol. How did you transition your child to middle school? Were girls different than boys?

The Fab Five is ready for back to school. Check out some of these awesome posts to get you all ready for a new school year

MJ –5 DAILY AFFIRMATIONS FOR KIDS JUST IN TIME FOR BACK TO SCHOOL

Mimi –5 Ways to Get Organized for Back to School

Lashawn –5 GLUTEN FREE AFTER SCHOOL SNACKS YOUR KID WILL LOVE

Bernetta –5 Ways to Handle Back to School with Multiple Children & School

  • Reply
    5 Ways to Get Organized for Back to School - Unlikely MarthaUnlikely Martha
    July 31, 2017 at 9:40 am

    […] Kita | It’s Really Kita –Β 5 Tips to Get Through Middle School […]

  • Reply
    Christy Maurer
    July 31, 2017 at 10:48 am

    It’s so hard being a mom and watching your kids grow up! You’re proud of them but sad for you! Mine are 19 and 22, so I get it!

  • Reply
    valmg @ Mom Knows It All
    July 31, 2017 at 10:55 am

    I remember the middle school days well. There were more than a few learning moments and adjustements for all of us.

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    July 31, 2017 at 11:09 am

    Kids just grow up way too fast (says the mom whose kids are all grown up now). I totally agree that having structure and rules teaches kids the importance of being organized. Good luck with the personal rules regarding the girls. πŸ™‚ Love this!

  • Reply
    robin rue
    July 31, 2017 at 11:27 am

    My oldest is going into this last year of middle school this year. It is so important to stay on top of them and definitely be consistent.

  • Reply
    Franc Ramon
    July 31, 2017 at 11:34 am

    It’s really good to teach kids be organized as they probably so excited to play or hang out with their friends, they tend to miss out on the assignments. It’s also the right time to keep them on the right relationship and technology as well as being able to monitor their movements at this crucial age.

  • Reply
    Kimberly @ Berly's Kitchen
    July 31, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    Middle school is such a tough time, but it can also be a lot of fun. Keeping kids organized with their school work seems like a never ending task. Lol! My son’s grades slipped a bit because he “thought” he did the work when he actually hadn’t. So glad middle school is over. Good luck with yours. It will be over before you know it. πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Sarah Honey
    July 31, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Yikes! I’m so not ready to think about middle school yet. I know it will be here before I know it. Great tips.

  • Reply
    Tomika
    July 31, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    I’m in back to school mode and will be sitting with the kids to discuss expectations and rules for the year. It seems to get harder as they grow older but communication is key!

  • Reply
    Tomiko
    July 31, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    I guess I’m the only parent wishing my 5th grader was a senior in high school. My daughter goes to a tutor twice a week because we fight over homework and I don’t have the patience to deal with that. Her tutor ensures all homework is done and correct.

  • Reply
    LaQuisha
    July 31, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    Organization and emotions are so important! This is why I like teaching incoming high schoolers so I can help them with this. You have to have patience, lol.

  • Reply
    lisa
    July 31, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    My oldest will be an 8th grader this year. I have gone through the emotional times with her and we are on the same page (for now). I know our next hurdle will be high school. Sigh.

  • Reply
    Eva
    July 31, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    I am knee deep in the middle school years with a 6th and 7th grader. I’m not ready! The emotions are all over the place and they are currently hating me right now over summer reading. Apparently Treasure Island is basically torture. Good luck!

  • Reply
    rebekah
    July 31, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    This post is precious. I know this will be me watching my niece & nephew grow up!

  • Reply
    Carissa Godbott
    July 31, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    I remember Middle School, I loved Middle School so much! It was really the fun times! I think these are great tips and rules! I loved the sentence, everyone can be your friend and everyone can be your enemy. I wish someone told me that when I was younger!

  • Reply
    Jenny
    July 31, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    I’m not there with the schooling yet since my daughter is 2 but these are all important things to put in place. Although, I think kids shouldn’t have electronics out or in school since it just sidetracks them from actual learning. I lived without a phone all through school, so I’d probably make my daughter do the same lol

  • Reply
    Dominique
    July 31, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    Growing up, my mother was really harsh with me. She was on the cold and cruel side, and I didn’t feel like I could confide in her, let alone have a friendly conversation with her. She hated all of my friends despite never meeting them (I would never subject my friends to meeting her anyways), and she made assumptions about everyone in my school, almost always negative. We were a great group of kids too. I was a nerd and loved being in the band and getting good grades. I never understood her harsh ways until I was old enough to see that her mother treated her the same way.

    I feel that adults do not give teens enough credit. Being a teen isn’t easy, especially in today’s age of social media. Life got better when I matured enough to make my own decisions. Thankfully, I’m strong of character and I feel like I’m winning at life, despite the rough start.

  • Reply
    Sarah Bailey
    July 31, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    School in general is such a hard time, it seems to go by so quickly but there is so much going on. Theres are some good things to be thinking about during that time.

  • Reply
    Our Family World
    July 31, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    Middle school is when your kids start to be more vocal about their likes and dislikes, which could be sometimes the reason for arguments between kids and their parents. I can relate to your post, I could say, “been there, done that.” My kids are all young adults now. They still slack off sometimes but they know their limits and immediately get back on track. Just continue to be the good mom that you are and be consistent with the rules you set. You and your child will do fine.

  • Reply
    Emily
    August 1, 2017 at 1:35 am

    Ugh I am not ready for my kids to be here yet! My oldest is going into 4th grade this fall and I know middle school is right around the corner. These are great tips and things I need to keep in mind for her, thanks!

  • Reply
    Angelic SInova
    August 1, 2017 at 4:38 am

    Ahhh the middle school days. It seems like forever ago for me even though it was literally a just over a decade ago. My mom is a middle school teacher and technology is a huge difference in how middle schoolers act/learn now then it was back in the day.

  • Reply
    Ayak
    August 1, 2017 at 4:40 am

    Looking after my sisters boys for a few years was an eye opener to say the least. Going from no kids to being responsible for a 7yr old & super advanced 10yr old, was jumping in the deep end, tough but I enjoyed it.
    I had to be up on my social media, app & websites game. Researching the ones I had no knowledge about, but In the end I just got access to all passwords to monitor online behaviour.

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    August 1, 2017 at 5:20 am

    He got a 0 because it was deep down in the bottom of his backpack…girl…I had to laugh out loud at that one because my son’s back pack is a vortex. It’s the gateway to hell. Things go in that back pack and they never return. I’m like “Where did the forms go?” and I dunno where they went. POOF. Something ate it. Probably that apple from April 2016. I’m kidding. It’s not that nasty. But seriously, what’s with the back packs?
    Your boy is handsome and you’re a good Mama.
    Good luck to the both of you. You’re going to rock it.

  • Reply
    Kim
    August 1, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    When I was in elementary school my public elementary school went up to the 8th grade, and then for some reason, it stopped by the time I got to 5th. Middle Schoo is really a tough part of a child’s life. A lot goes on, but just stay involved.

  • Reply
    Jonna
    August 2, 2017 at 12:11 am

    Thank you for teaching him to keep his hands to himself. I remember in middle school an assistant principal threatened to suspend me from school for punching a boy who grabbed my butt. I can’t tell you how many people at that school that day said ‘boys will be boys’ like it was normal. Well this girl will be a hood chic and punch him in the face! Whew you couldn’t pay me to go through middle school again!

  • Reply
    Leigh Anne Borders
    August 2, 2017 at 12:42 am

    My children have gone through middle school, and I could not agree more with you on your tips. It can be such a difficult time. Being there for them is so important.

  • Reply
    Kristin
    August 2, 2017 at 1:28 am

    Shout out to you moms!! This was a great post! As a Sunday school teacher, middle schoolers were always my favorite to teach. They weren’t too grown, but they were just grown enough to have real talks and they seemed open to learn about everything. Praying your son and your daughter both have great school years and they excel in all things!!

  • Reply
    Sandy N Vyjay
    August 2, 2017 at 10:09 am

    Kids during their growing years need love, attention, support, help, direction, and guidance from parents and teachers. It is not easy to strike a balance as the discipline and rules parents set, the child may not like or understand. But it is necessary as the child will thank the parents when he/she grows up. Great post. πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Aprill Coleman
    August 2, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Our middle child is off to middle school this year. I dont know how to feel yet, I mean, I just gave birth to him, or so I thought.

  • Reply
    Tiffany H.
    August 2, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    I don’t have children but this a comprehensive list about what a middle schooler may go through. Middle School was the hardest time for me (I think I was bullied more in middle school)I think this time is a big adjustment for kids as they are growing up but not quite mature. I’m so glad you are teaching him about bullying and topics such as the birds and the bees as my parents did not have that discussions.

  • Reply
    Anosa
    August 2, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Oh lord middle school, time of self discovery of what your body truly is for us girls eek. Good luck to your boy and I am sure his already well equipped with the love and support so he will do great

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    August 3, 2017 at 1:19 am

    I remember when my teens started middle school. My older son was SO excited, but yes, the middle school experience had its ups and downs. I think the most challenging part we experienced was the emotions. Teens go through so many emotional changes during puberty and they don’t really understand their feelings. It was tough, but we got through it! So when my daughter entered middle school age, I was ready! LOL! I think the tips you listed are good and you are going to do a great job! Best wishes to his 6th grade year!!

  • Reply
    LaShawn
    August 3, 2017 at 10:41 am

    I think being organized is such a big thing in any grade! I know I’m going to have to be on it this year since Pookah will be going to a different school.

  • Reply
    Kiwi
    August 4, 2017 at 12:21 pm

    My nephew is going into his second year of middle school going to the 7th grade. Yes those hormones are going to be kicking in and they are at that weird age where everything embarrasses them. I love that you have an app to monitor his phone activity I told my sister to do the same because they will get into sketchy stuff the internet is a scary place now.

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