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It's Life

5 Reasons why people don’t come to your events

April 10, 2016

I am having a birthday party for my daughter on Saturday. It’s the first one she will ever have because the thought of inviting people and they not showing up bothers me. I always show up for most birthday parties and it’s very rare that I don’t attend especially if I know you well. When it comes to my kids things though everyone is so busy………righttttttttttt. What I have started to do is play tit for tat …yes I said it. If I have come to all of your kids birthday parties for the past 2 years and you don’t show up for my daughter on Saturday…please believe I won’t attend anymore of your kids parties. Do you care? Probably not, but I do and I won’t spend my gas, my day, and my money on people who say yeah I will be there and then they have an excuse.

My daughters birthday party will be at Romp n Roll skating rink on Saturday. I scheduled the party for 10:30 in the morning because…..people have so many excuses about their Saturday evenings that I figured if I have it in the morning I would love to see what excuse people come up with. Since this is my daughters first birthday I am hoping at least 10 people show up. I am good with 10 because at least the 10 that come will get lots of goodies and I get some of my money back if not all 30 I invited show up. Of course I understand people having baseball or other activities those are to be expected but I know an excuse when I hear one. So what are some reasons people don’t come to your event or party? Here is 5……..

  1. They are tired – This is honestly a real reason. People work during the weekday and so on Saturday’s they don’t want to get up out of bed. I get it but let’s be honest you weren’t tired planning your child’s birthday party and expecting people to get up out of their bed for you. I am always tired but if you showed up for me trust me I will get up for you.
  2. They forgot – This one to me is a lame excuse. I forget things too which is why I use a calendar or an app as a reminder for events. We live, eat, shat, and breathe with our phones. You mean to tell me you didn’t set a reminder up on one of your apps that you have something to do on a certain day. Come on…….I have a calendar that I use for everything. People love to play forget it’s a fun game but with today’s technology it’s hard for me to believe you forgot. If you did forget then when you remembered why couldn’t you say something. Example: A lady wants to take me shopping to help me pick out living room furniture. I didn’t look at my calendar an accepted her invitation. I did happen to look on my calendar when I got near it and realized I had something to do so I texted her immediately to let her know that I had something planned. This was done two weeks in advance.
  3. To many parties – If you are on your 3rd child I won’t attend your baby shower. I attended the first two…after the first two I am going to tell you straight up….I can’t afford to buy for you. You have more kids than I have and I can barely afford the two I got. If you go over the max of two kids I just can’t come unless I know you very very very well. Also, you have 2 kids and you have a birthday party every year since they were 1 and now their 10….I am partied out. That’s 18+ parties that I have attended between the two kids…take a break…SHAT
  4. They don’t like you – I find that the people who don’t show up for you or make excuses probably don’t really care for you because the ones who do care will show up if they don’t they will send a gift or at least help with the party. My bestie didn’t show up for my sons birthday party because she had to work (she owns her own hair salon) I understood so what did she do? She did all the goody bags for me and my guests and paid for them herself. She didn’t have to show to the party but the fact that she helped showed she cared. Now I am not talking about the classroom people who don’t know you. I am talking about people you interact with on a daily basis not showing up. If Sally Sue and you talk at least once a week via FB or Cell phone and you have known her for over 2 years and she doesn’t show up or at least offer to help….Sally Sue doesn’t care for you and you aren’t really Sally Sue friend y’all just acquaintances.
  5. No one has money – This has always been one of my excuses. I hate showing up to parties without a gift so if I can’t afford to go I will say I can’t attend. 9 times out of 10 it’s because I don’t have any money. Don’t you hate when people come to your event empty handed and then eat all of your food. I hate that…so I don’t do it to others. It costs money to attend parties or events because of gas, (sometimes parking), gift giving, and if you have to pay for something at the event. My money is tight but again if you showed up for me…I will show up for you.

What are some of your excuses on why you don’t attend events or parties? Let’s be real and give your honest excuse.

5 reasons people don't come to your event

  • Reply
    Arnitris
    April 11, 2016 at 5:12 am

    I love this! I usually attend birthday parties but rarely have them for my children. It’s not because people don’t come, they just come with no gifts. I’d rather just use that money I would have spent on a party and take my babies out to eat and shopping.

  • Reply
    Robin Masshole Mommy
    April 11, 2016 at 11:54 am

    I would be really offended if someone forgot me LOL, but being forgetful myself I can see how it happens. That’s why I keep a planner ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    April 11, 2016 at 11:56 am

    I think one reason people don’t go to events is because they are selfish. There, I said it. ๐Ÿ™‚ And don’t get me started on people who don’t bother to RSVP to a big event like a wedding OR those that RSVP they are coming and you’ve paid out all those big bucks to the best caterer in town and they don’t show up without a good reason. Bottom line: People do what they want to do. (As a pastor’s wife and directing weddings for over 30 years, I’ve just about seen it all)

    • Reply
      Kita
      April 12, 2016 at 5:35 am

      You said it! RSVP is a whole nother post because people don’t do it then show up with 10 more people smh

    • Reply
      MJ
      April 13, 2016 at 2:18 am

      Say it again Ali!

  • Reply
    Nellie
    April 11, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    It drives me crazy. The “I forgot” excuse literally makes me want to fight someone! The last minute (same day) cancellations are what drive me the most crazy, it’s just not ok!

  • Reply
    Denise Seegobin
    April 11, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    This was very interesting to read and understand. I am always using my phone and planner to make sure I don’t forget things.

  • Reply
    Bernetta
    April 11, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Yeah, basically I’ve heard them all too over the years. Finally I took my husband’s advice he said, “Don’t worry about it, who is supposed to be there will be there. God knows.” And I have peace after that. God knew who was going to come and I will just have a good time with them. Like Nellie said, those last minute same day cancellations are the ones that burn me up the most. I hope your daughters 1st party is a great one!

  • Reply
    Pam
    April 11, 2016 at 2:26 pm

    There are definitely a lot of reasons people don’t come to events! Being tired makes me not want to do things.

  • Reply
    Fatima
    April 11, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    Money and distance are my usual excuses. I like going places but I just don’t have it like that to buy gifts and travel every weekend, And honestly if I don’t speak to you but I am always invited to your parties I am going to assume that its just because you want gifts. So I’m not goingโ€ฆ

  • Reply
    Louida
    April 11, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    I don’t go to many, and that’s due to the fact that I don’t know my girls friends parents at all.

    I’m happy you invited us Kita! My dad called me on Friday talking about his party this coming Saturday, but rejected his invite because first of all your invitation came first, 2nd, he is in Memphis, I need a month advance notice, not a week!

    • Reply
      Kita
      April 12, 2016 at 5:34 am

      I know a lot of boys so my son stays busy but I don’t know a lot of girls so I never had a party for her. We can’t wait to see you Saturday!

  • Reply
    Shantel
    April 11, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    OMG I fell out laughing at this whole post and I’m still laughing. I’ve experienced #5 quite a lot before I had Sophia I was always attending birthday parties and baby showers with gifts in hand, but when I had her OMG nearly half the people who RSVP for my shower didn’t show up and I had to pay per plate for all those non-attendees. The same with her birthday parties, spending all that money and folks showing up with 5 guests and one tiny gift or nothing. So, I definitely get it without a doubt LOL.

    BTW, I’m still laughing hahaha

    • Reply
      Kita
      April 12, 2016 at 5:33 am

      Ridiculous and don’t get me started on that RSVP that’s a whole nother post

  • Reply
    Jenn
    April 11, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    Interesting list. I agree with most of your points. I know a few people that love to entertain, but could use a reminder of these.

  • Reply
    Jenn @ EngineerMommy
    April 11, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    Yes, I also get frustrated when someone tells me they’ll come to a birthday party and then they don’t show up! It’s so inconsiderate, unless they have a good reason for not showing up! I always follow through with RSVPs when I get an invitation!

    • Reply
      Kita
      April 12, 2016 at 5:33 am

      People don’t RSVP that’s another thing that irks me smh

  • Reply
    Jen
    April 11, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    If I forget it’s most likely because I am tired. LOL My biggest pet peeve is the ones that don’t RSVP and then show up.

  • Reply
    NAZMA IQBAL
    April 11, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    I loved this post.And i agree with every single reason you listed … well i have to say that its quite same also for me..if i don’t go in an event its always because of one f these reasons

  • Reply
    Marteeta "Twin Mom-Plus One" Spradling
    April 11, 2016 at 10:15 pm

    I always keep my word but I guess I am just old school. I thank God that my mother taught me the proper rules of etiquette. If I say that I am coming, then you can believe, I will be there. This new school crowd will lie right to your face and not blink. They will tell you that they are on the way and never show up. I just don’t get it. It is so rude.

    • Reply
      Kita
      April 12, 2016 at 5:32 am

      Yes people don’t keep their word anymore.

  • Reply
    Franc Ramon
    April 12, 2016 at 6:37 am

    It’s really hard to gather people on events especially that they also have different activities. I guess it’s good to just stick with a small group and try to find the best available time.

  • Reply
    Anosa
    April 12, 2016 at 6:23 pm

    I do not yet have kids so not experienced this before but with my nephew most people who were invited showed and those who didnt sent their presents and regrets so win win

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    April 12, 2016 at 8:02 pm

    I’m pretty good about attending parties or I at least RSVP no before hand. We will not go because of schedule conflict, sometimes the kids have sporting events and it would be a bit much to try and rip and run so they can attend.

  • Reply
    heather s-g
    April 12, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    I always try to attend parties of actual friends and family. I don’t attend if it’s a random invite from an acquaintance obviously wanting more gifts.

  • Reply
    rika
    April 13, 2016 at 6:38 am

    Very great article.. Birthday party is our priority, we’ll send a gift if we couldn’t make it

  • Reply
    Jasmine Watts
    April 13, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Interesting list! I don’t go to many events and my usual excuses are money and time!!

  • Reply
    Amy @ Marvelous Mommy
    April 13, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Haha, yes I agree with #3. Although, I really don’t care if they come, and eat all the food, AND not bring a gift. I invited them because I wanted them to be part of the party, not just to get something in return. My kids would rather have friends show up to a party, gift or no gift.

  • Reply
    Nancy at Whispered Inspirations
    April 14, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    Haha, this made me chuckle on how up front and to the point it is. Very true though, love it.

  • Reply
    K. Elizabeth
    April 16, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    If I RSVP to party or event I usually attend or give at least two weeks notice that my plans have changed. I know how frustrating it can be to invite people to an event and then they not show up. I try not to get too bothered by it. I’ve learned who to invite and who not to invite.

    Also, I’m not a fan of people who expect you to come to every event they have, but never show support or come to any of your events. That’s selfishness at its finest right there.

  • Reply
    adriana
    April 18, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    These are all so true! I hope you had a wonderful day regardless – those who show up are usually the ones who you can always count on ๐Ÿ™‚

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